(The preceding chapter and backstory can be found here.)

It’s two days after his visit to the hospital, and Hornet is four hundred miles away from his Greensboro, NC home. The hotel room looks like… a hotel room, and even though the curtains are open and it’s 5 p.m., the gloomy clouds and rain make it as dark as early evening.

Two days later, and he still can’t get his head around why he didn’t follow through. His intent had been to sit down with his doctor and explain the pain, to try and find a way to deal with the… addiction. The word still stuck in his mind, even though he still had never uttered it out loud.

Two days later and he’s still got a match to prepare for. A PPV Main Event match, against a man that he has no desire to face. Not because of fear, well, not because of fear of losing or fear of being hurt. Fear of the unknown, maybe? Mark Windham had appeared out of nowhere a year ago, returning to the CSWA. The two had one or two brief ‘debates’ by promo, but certainly nothing significant face-to-face.

Fear of facing past mistakes. That hit much closer to home.

But before he could think through the feeling, the phone rang. That couldn’t be good.

“Hornet?”

A woman’s voice. That woman’s voice.

“Hornet, are you there? It’s Teri.”

What is this, the week for old flames to call in favors? First the former Mrs. Windham, and now the woman who faked a pregnancy to get her own way.

“What do you want, Teri?”

“People are starting to wonder where you are.”

“By people, you mean Chad, of course.”

“Of course. What time are you planning to get here?”

“I don’t know for sure. Shouldn’t be more than an hour. I just got out of the shower.”

“Mmm, that makes me remember…”

“That’s enough.”

“What’s wrong with fondly remember the past?”

“I don’t remember it quite that way.”

“You don’t remember how bad you needed me after Ivy hurt you? How you came running into my arms for comfort…and more, of course.”

“Nope. I remember that after months, years of having you throw yourself at me, I finally made a few booty calls.”

“I may be a lot of things, but I’ve never been a booty call.”

“Hate to break the news to you, Teri, but you were. There was no emotional connection, no loving stares, no passionate kisses. You just happen to be there.”

“And she wasn’t. It doesn’t matter anyway, sweetheart. I got what I wanted: a chance to show the world that a real woman can always get her way, and a front office position to boot.”

“I’d love to say I’m thrilled to hear it and that I’m happy for you. But to be honest, I really don’t care. Why are you calling me, anyway? I thought B.D. was the watchdog Merritt had set on me.”

“I do take a personal interest in certain things, Hornet. And your… well-being… is one of those things.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use that word as a euphemism for sex. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you don’t have a way with language.”

“As you’ll remember, it’s more than the language I have a way with.”

“Are you finished? Did you call for any other reason than to make sure I was on my way in?”

“Can’t a girl miss a guy? Especially a guy she spent time with? Had fun with?”

“Teri, one thing you’ve never ever been, is a girl.”

He cuts her off in mid-reply as she responds, hanging up the hotel phone. He quickly turns his cell phone off so that she can’t continue playing cat-and-mouse. He knows Teri’s game well enough… he fended her off for years. It’s not as if she had any specific desire for him, or that she found him any more desirable than anyone else, but for whatever reason, she saw power. And Teri, of all women, is drawn to anyone she believes has the power to get her way.

It wasn’t Teri’s game that upset him. Rather, it was the fact that once again, he was reminded of a series of mistakes, stupid mistakes. Failures. Times when he was a step slow, or a day late, or a second short. Times when he said too little, or too much, or nothing at all.

He was reminded of how he lost Ivy. Of the hurt in her eyes, the fury in her face, the disappointment in her body language. He thought of how he lost his friendship with Eli, of the disdain in his gaze. He thought of how he was too late, of how a friend refused to listen, a woman screamed, and a building collapsed.

The gate of pride set within the wall of his ego held. Over the last weeks and months, it had been assaulted with battering rams. Guilt. WHAM. Failure. WHAM. Addiction. WHAM. The gate buckled, but still held, just barely.

As he packed up his gear and left the hotel, a shudder ran through his body, despite the muggy weather bearing down on him. He had never been so ill-prepared for a match. Not that he needed to scout Mark; he knows him too well. Or he used to.

The scariest thing of all: every other time he wrestled as a challenger for the World Title, he had a sense of anticipation, a sense of ambition, of desire. But this time: nothing. Complete apathy. Completely nothing.

It’s the same response his body gives him to the Soma, the feeling of nothingness, of weightlessness, that nothing has substance. And now that feeling, that numbness, was penetrating his emotions, his drive, his spirit. No, not penetrating… it was already there, but he hadn’t noticed it. The numbness is what allowed him to continue every day without falling apart; it is what allows him to drive on auto-pilot to the MCI Center.

Instead of street names running through his head as he drives past, a list of failures, of disappointments, of mistakes and consequences runs over and over. The closer he gets, the faster and louder the list runs in his head. The battering ram is active again; the gate has no choice but to give. It’s not strong enough, not cohesive enough, to withstand the constant battery, the constant onslaught.

He pretends to accept responsibility for each failure, each mistake, but now he realizes that beneath the constant drumbeat of his internal monologue is a softer percussion made up of excuses, rational responses. “It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do it. You couldn’t have known. You’re not to blame.”

It’s a shocking realization. To learn that you’ve been lying to yourself, that the battle between your ego and superego has run amuck, out of your control. Lightning strikes overhead, and thunder rolls as the early evening darkens. Lightning strikes in front of him, blinding him before resolving in double-vision, as the rain continues to pound.

As he gets closer, he sees two signs. Or is it one? The purple afterimages refuse to fade. He’s seen signs like it before: his name in lights. But as his vision begins to clear, one seems different. The lights are softer, warmer than he remembers.

He turns the car off and listens to the rain for a minute. It harmonizes with the rolling drumbeat of question and doubt in his head, periodically punctuated by thunder and lightning. The gate still holds, but as another shudder runs through him, he realizes that it’s only a matter of time.

As he steps out of the car, he realizes that he faces the same challenge that he failed at the hospital. The chance to drop the load, to get rid of the burden. The question that his subconscious has asked twice before echoes dissonantly, destroying the music of the internal dialogue, and the rain, and the thunder. ”Don’t you have any fight left in you? Did it all go out of you when that wall fell on you?”

But as he opens the door and steps out into the rain, as he stares at the sign that bears his name, the final question that runs through his mind is: How did I get here?

BB: It's time for our second elimination tag match of the night. This one features the PLR stable and the GXW contingent, who you would think would be the best of friends. Kevin Powers has been a major force in the history of the GXW, as has former GXW Champion Dan Ryan, but the two have stepped on each others' toes as of late.

SB: If one of those two behemoths steps on your toe, you're gonna know it.

BB: It looks like Merritt's plan in this one is to pit the two leaders of the factions against each other... by putting them on the same team. I guess we'll find out where individual loyalties lie!

(CUEUP: "Zero" by Smashing Pumpkins as the lights go out and strobe lights flicker across the arena. The MerrittTron flashes G-X-W as "The Ego Buster" DAN RYAN steps out onto the rampway with "Wicked Sight" MIKE PLETT and CHRIS LEHEW at his side.)

BB: It looks like these guys have decided to make a show of solidarity, despite the fact that Lehew and Plett will be on an opposite side of the ring from Ryan!

SB: Hey look, I've missed making fun of the Plett kid. I think his nickname should be "Turncoat." Think of all the costumes and merchandising he could make out of that. He could finally put all that 'freakness' to good use, rather than getting spit on by teenage girls.

("(Can't You) Trip Like I Do" by Filter and The Crystal Method blares into the arena as the MerrittTron shows "Good God" and "PLR" interspersed with action scenes. KEVIN POWERS hits the rampway and holds out his arms as LANCE LEIZURE and ROB SAMPSON stand next to him. A white fountain of fireworks erupts behind the three as the crowd responds with both cheers and boos. The members of PLR meet at the bottom of the ramp for a brief strategy session before hitting their respective corners.)

BB: So far, it looks like Merritt's plan to break down these factions has failed. We've seen solidarity from both stables, and it looks like at least PLR has come into this with a game plan.

SB: It's Kevin Powers, Buckley. His 'game plans' consist of drinking a fifth, breaking the bottle over his head and then repeating until he blacks out.

BB: This thing is underway as Mike Plett and Chris Lehew start things off for their respective teams. Lehew and Plett throw out a quick slap of the hands to acknowledge the start of things as the bell rings...

SB: Plett and Lehew have been running on the same side of this invasion since late last year, but we haven't heard so much as a word out of either one in a long time....

BB: All words aside, tonight they face off against each other...and this one gets underway as they lock up in the middle of the ring. Plett twists Lehew into a headlock. Lehew backs him into the ropes and fires him across the ring. He ducks the clothesline! Plett hits the other side and comes out with a flying forearm that sends Lehew down to the mat, but he's up quickly to one knee and glares at Plett....

SB: And Plett with a little smile on his face....

BB: Lehew returns a smirk of his own and gets to his feet cautiously. They circle each other once more and again lock up. Again Lehew is turned into a headlock....Plett fired into the ropes from a standing position, shoulderblock takes Lehew down. Plett hits the ropes again, then dives at Lehew one more time, but this time gets turned over into a powerslam....quick cover!!...ONE.....TW......he gets about one and a half!

SB: Plett went to that well again and he got caught....

BB: Plett to his feet as Lehew steps to his corner....takes a look at Kevin Powers and instead tags in Dan Ryan....

SB: The new mouth of the South.....this man's been running his mouth all week....

BB: Ryan in. Plett reaches out to slap hands with him, but Ryan knocks it away and kicks him in the gut...kneel down to a knee....uppercut takes Plett down! Ryan grabs Plett by the ankle and stomps away at the knee. One more time.... and a third!!

SB: And they're supposed to be friends....

BB: A potential shot at the World Title sometimes overshadows friendships, Sammy. Ryan drapes Plett's legs across the bottom rope....and drives a knee down across the side of his knee as Plett screams in pain...

SB: That's a big, big man dropping all of his weight on that knee. I'd be screamin' too...then again, I pretty much scream at anything.

BB: Yikes. Ryan puts a foot on the bottom rope for some spring and drops down with all of his weight on the knee of Mike Plett! Ryan's really working hard on that knee early on in this match!

SB: Extremely smart... unlike Powers.

BB: Ryan gets his footing on the bottom rope again....gets some spring and this time drops a big leg across the throat of Mike Plett!! Here's a cover! One.....two....... WHOA! Plett just did kick out in time!!

SB: That was very loose. I don't think Plett was anticipating this much offense out of his stablemate this early on...

BB: Ryan comes to his feet again. Plett stumbles up onto one leg, the other noticeably hurting him. Ryan stomps at the knee...Plett fires out with a weak right hand that connects, but only gets a smile from Ryan. Dan Ryan drops to a knee and lunges forward, tackling Plett through his knee and sending him tumbling to the outside!

SB: Vicious! Absolutely vicious....Ryan is taking it to his own stablemate...I love it!!

BB: Ryan crawls over to the ropes and peeks outside to the fallen Plett on the outside. Plett looks up, greeted by a smile from his erstwhile partner....

SB: I think Ryan's enjoying this...

BB: Ryan shrugs....then gets to his feet. Ryan goes back to his corner. Powers wants in....but Ryan says something to him and instead tags in Lehew one more time...

SB: That's not exactly making Powers very happy...

BB: Plett is just now making his way into the ring under the bottom rope as Lehew gives him a clear path into the ring....Plett rolls in and finds his way over to his corner and slaps the outstretched hand of Rob Sampson....

SB: Mr. Main Event has been anything but main event material since his return to CSWA. Makes me wonder if it was even worth it...

BB: Sampson and Lehew eye each other as Powers starts jawing with Lehew from the apron...Lehew turns to look at Powers and Sampson catches him in the back of the head with a clothesline that sends Lehew face first into his own corner...Sampson lays into Lehew with lefts and right as Powers tries to hold Lehew's hands behind his back, but Ryan reaches across and gives Powers a hard shove that sends him off the apron to the floor....and Powers is furious!!!

SB: What...did he expect Ryan to just stand there and let him pound on his own teammate??

BB: Ryan slaps Lehew in the back of the head tagging himself back in and Sampson backs away, wanting no part of the bigger man.....Ryan lays into Sampson with rights and lefts, backing Sampson across the rings...Ryan charges Sampson....Sampson ducks....Sampson turns back around and is caught flush in the jaw by a Dan Ryan superkick!!

SB: He caught him solid with that one!!

BB: Ryan takes a look down at Sampson with an intense frown on his face and stumbles forward as Lance Leizure hits the ring and starts hammering him from behind....Leizure alternates right hands and kicks to the gut as he backs Ryan into the ropes...he fires him across the ring.....Sampson is up but misses a clothesline on Ryan.....Ryan hits the ropes behind Sampson.....Sampson ducks a clothesline from Ryan and Ryan levels Leizure with a clothesline that sends him over the top rope to the floor!!!

SB: We've got people flying over ropes all over the place!!

BB: Ryan turns back around!! Sampson takes a shot with a right hand....Ryan retaliates with a right of his own!! Sampson again! Ryan! Sampson! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan!! Kick to the midsection! Ryan wraps him up...overhead belly to belly suplex sends Sampson across the ring and bouncing up against the ropes!! Ryan is taking control!!

SB: He's got it all under control....but it looks like Plett is finally getting to his feet and back in the ring after the beating he took early on from Ryan.....

BB: They get eye to eye....Plett starts jawing with Ryan and the big man doesn't back down at all!! Plett shoves Ryan....Ryan takes a step back and turns.....flashes a little smile, turns and pops Plett in the mouth...Plett's head snaps back....but Plett turns back around with a little smile of his own!!

SB: A good old-fashioned brotherly type squabble here, Buckley.....these guys are stablemates, but they're not gonna back down from each other!

BB: Plett takes a shot at Ryan and catches him flush on the jaw as well!! This is somethin' else, Sammy....these guys are just standing in the ring throwing right hands at each other....and ENJOYING it....

SB: It's like a scene out of Fight Club in there....

BB: Ryan's approaching Plett one more time....but Kevin Powers comes into the ring and practically takes Mike Plett's head off with a clothesline and then quickly steps back out of the ring, drawing the ire of Dan Ryan!!

SB: Boy, he didn't like that....at this point I wouldn't say he's upset so much about hitting his stablemate as he is upset that Powers interrupted their little slugfest....

BB: Ryan over in Powers' face now yelling at him.....Powers screams out for him to make the cover....Finally, with a disgusted look Ryan turns and goes for the cover.....but only with a two count....

SB: I don't think Ryan wants any help from Powers...even if it means advancing to that battle royal...

BB: That might not be the wisest direction for Ryan to go with this....nevertheless....Ryan pulls Plett back up to his feet....but doesn't go on the attack.....Ryan shoves Plett toward his corner, and Plett reaches out and slaps Lance Leizure on the leg, tagging him in....

SB: Ryan made sure his man wouldn't get taken advantage of there in the least....

BB: And now Ryan makes the tag to Powers.....Powers slowly enters the ring as he glares at Ryan....and faces Leizure.....Leizure and Powers trade an acknowledging nod when out of nowhere Ryan comes back into the ring, charges at Leizure and sends him sprawling with a big boot to the face!! My lord!!

SB: An eye for an eye, a stablemate for a stablemate, Buckley!

BB: Indeed!...Powers is ticked off and yelling at Ryan on the apron who along with Chris Lehew can't help himself....they're laughing they're asses off!!

SB: [muffled laughter]

BB: You too?

SB: It was kinda funny....

BB: Ryan feigns seriousness long enough to point to Leizure and tell Powers to cover him, drawing a scowl out of Powers....but Powers goes to cover....no....he helps Leizure to his feet and helps him over to Rob Sampson who tags back in.....and Powers goes back to his own corner...grabs Lehew by the neck and brings him violently over the top rope and into the ring with a chokeslam!!!

SB: Sampson's on the attack!!

BB: Sampson pulls Lehew to his feet!! Kick to the midsection.....he goes behind and lifts him up onto his shoulders.....HEADLINER!! Reverse Death Valley Driver!...ONE.....TWO.......THREE!!! And Chris Lehew has been eliminated!!!

SB: One down, two to go!!

BB: Dan Ryan starts his way into the ring but Powers makes it in ahead of him.....Powers pushes rushes across the ring and decks Mike Plett, sending him to the floor....Plett regains his senses quickly however and climbs back in under the bottom rope....Ryan comes in behind Powers.....Powers ducks a clothesline.....Sampson takes the brunt of it!!....Ryan drags him to the nearby corner and lays him diagonally......

SB: Look at Plett!!

BB: Plett spears Powers and they go to the mat, furiously trading rights and lefts with each other!! Ryan steps up to the second rope, swings his legs up and HITS A SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT!! What move for a man that size!!!!

SB: Wow...

BB: Here's the cover....one....two......AND SAMPSON IS ELIMINATED AS RYAN GETS THE THREE COUNT!! It's down to two on two, Sammy!

SB: Both factions have lost a member and both TEAMS have lost a member so far....it's down to Plett and Leizure vs. Ryan and Powers!!

BB: Plett and Powers continue to hammer away on each other! Ryan turns his attention to Leizure...Leizure kicks Ryan in the guy....locks in a front facelock and tries to place Ryan in a double underhook position, but Ryan grabs a leg and twists hard to the side with a dragon screw leg whip!

SB: A taste of the Orient....

BB: Ryan over to Leizure...pulls him up by the hair...Leizure takes a swing....Ryan ducks....locks him up......RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX!!

SB: Right on the ol' noggin....

BB: Meanwhile, Plett's got the upperhand on Powers....Plett gets Powers back into the ropes....whips him across the ring....Powers hits the other side....Plett leaps up to hit the hurricanrana......Powers caught him!!! He's turning him to go for the Kiss the Canvas....but Plett shifts his weight and Powers goes down!!! Mike Plett is on top of Powers......cover!!...ONE.....TWO.....TH....Powers gets the arm out!!!

SB: Close call!!

BB: Ryan's got Leizure again....shoves him back into the corner up against the turnbuckle...knife edge chop!....another draws 'whoo's' from the crowd!!...another!!....Ryan grabs Leizure and hoists him up to the tope rope.....cracks him in the side of the head with a right hand!....Ryan climbs up ...Leizure fights back....right to the stomach....another....Ryan rakes the eyes!!.....Ryan drags Leizure up by the throat....both men are on the top rope...

SB: Those are two very big guys to be up there like that!!

BB: Ryan picks up Lance Leizure and in a fluid motion flings him over his head with a release NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX....DEAR GOD.....

SB: Now I don't think I've ever seen that one!!

BB: Dan Ryan took a hell of a risk there....he's hurt pretty bad himself but Lance Leizure is absolutely motionless!!

SB: Lance Leizure is comatose...

BB: Ryan rolls up to one knee....he slowly gets to his feet and surveys the situation....Mike Plett is back on Powers....straddling him and peppering him with lefts and rights.....

SB: Can't forget these two!

BB: Plett pulls Powers to his feet....he glances over at Ryan, who is taking a breather in the corner...snap suplex on Powers!

SB: Nice!

BB: Ryan pulls Leizure to his feet.....DDT!! Plett pulls Powers up.....neckbreaker!!! Ryan on Leizure....pulls him up....puts him in the standing headscissors.....double underhook piledriver!!

SB: They're at it again!!!

BB: Plett pulls Powers up one more time....picks him up for a bodysl....NO!! Michinoku Driver!!!

SB: Good lord!

BB: Ryan pulls LEIZURE up!...another standing headscissors....and this time the HUMILITY BOMB!!! Ryan's going for the cover.....ONE.....TWO.....THREE!!!!

SB: Leizure's out and Plett's smiling! He didn't even bother to help his own teammate!!

BB: What a strange dynamic we've got with these two guys....Plett smiles at Ryan once again.....Powers out of nowhere with a rollup!!! ONE....TWO....THR.....NO!! Plett gets out!!...RYAN FROM BEHIND.....DRAGON SUPLEX ON PLETT!! HE BRIDGES.....ONE......TWO.......THREE!!!!! HE GOT HIM!!! MIKE PLETT HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!!! KEVIN POWERS AND DAN RYAN SURVIVE!!!

SB: What a strange turn of events to end this match.....

BB: Plett now is staring in amazement at Ryan who shrugs his shoulders....and reaches out a hand....Plett hesitates then pulls himself up......Ryan looks at him.....I'm not a lip reader but it looks like he said he did what he had to do....

SB: Yup, that's what I thought he said too....

BB: Plett shakes Ryan's hand and gives him a pat on the back...and I suppose these two are still partners....but unfortunately for Plett's team....it will be Ryan and his team for this evening going on to the battle royal!

SB: One more match to go, Billy Boy....

BB: Indeed indeed....Ryan and Plett flash a look at Powers.....Powers lets off a slight smile and backs his way to the ropes....and slides out of the ring......and we're gonna have some interesting possibilities later on tonight, Sammy....

SB: I can't wait....