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A Helping Hand

Welcome To ON TIME

Temper, Temper

No Respect

Home Again

Mr. Wrestling #27 vs Corey Stackhouse


Cameron Cruise vs Shamon

He's My What?


Nathan Cross vs. Joey Melton

The Boy Is Back In Town

March 28, 2004
Merritt Auditorium

A Helping Hand

(FADEIN: An anonymous hallway in the Merritt Auditorium. Staff members and camera crew run every which way, trying to get things set up for the pay per view show and at one point almost break a set of cameras used for standby or backstage. One member, obviously nervous setting things up, gets down off of a latter, but slips, falling forward and hitting his jaw on one of the steps in the process. Rubbing his jaw, he mutters to himself something about how he was told to set things up and yelps, realizing how deep a bruise he took hitting the ground. Suddenly, a hand appears, offering him a hand up. He takes it, and lightly continues rubbing his bruises when he gets to his feet. Looking up to thank him, he sees a man that towers above him at about 6'7', short brown hair, and is about 268 lbs., dressed in a tan suit and tie.)

STAFF MEMBER: Gee, thanks Mister. I sure appreciate you helpin' me up. I've done that three times now, and no one's offered to help me.

MAN: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm also glad to help you finish this if you need the help. What's your name?

SM: Sure thing Mister, but I can't pay ya for it. Mister Merritt would have a fit if he found out people were workin' without his approval. My names Jerry, by the way. (extends hand) Thanks again for the help.

MAN: No problem, no problem at all. I'll tell ya what then, Jerry. How about instead of money, you show me where one of the superstar's dressing rooms is, and we call it even? Deal??

J: Deal, but I can only show you where to go, because I can't go that way. Only wrestlers' an' trainers are allowed back there. You a trainer, Mister?? What was your name again??

MAN: You could say that I'm his trainer, yes...(The man has a mysterious look on his face.) It'll only take a minute.


Welcome To ON TIME

BILL BUCKLEY (V/O): "This program is protected by CS Enterprises copyright. Unlawful duplication and distribution prohibited."

(CUE UP: “The Last Day On Earth – Marilyn Manson”)

(FADEIN: The ON TIME logo at the top of the ramp from the show’s debut.

CUT TO: The Professionals walking backstage, both with a cigarette in mouth.

CUT TO: Eli and Troy “playing tug-of-war” in the crowd with a chair from ANNIVERSARY 2001.

CUT TO: Triple X flying to the outside with a senton splash at ANNIVERSARY 2001.

CUT TO: Tom Adler holding the United States title.

CUT TO: Kin Hiroshi coming from the top with a Hiroshima Bomb.

CUT TO: George Washington Knife Edge Chopping Eddie Mayfield.

CUT TO: Hornet nailing Cameron Cruise with a Shooting Star Press.

CUT TO: The New Suicide Squad at the top of the ramp.

CUT TO: Lawrence Stanley proudly waving the American and British flags.

CUT TO: Shane Southern dropping Bandit with a Reverse DDT.

CUT TO: Faceless taking off his mask to reveal himself as Mike Randalls.

CUT TO: Nathan Cross standing along the middle turnbuckle with a hand raised to the Crossovers.

CUT TO: PI-CAM" shot of a WOMAN signing GUNS' words for the benefit of the hearing impaired at PT.

CUT TO: Eli Flair with a Razor’s Edge on Mark Windham from the second rope.

CUT TO: Flair tackling Troy In Anaheim.

CUT TO: Windham piledriving Troy outside.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan throwing Windham into a merchandising stand.

CUT TO: Windham being dropped from the 2nd tier.

CUT TO: Windham moonsaulting Ryan through a table.

CUT TO: Mark Windham being Humility Bombed by Dan Ryan.

CUT TO: Ben Worthington awarding Dan Ryan the World title as an endearing crowd looks on.

CUT TO: A montage image of the Kevin Powers, Intruders, Shane Southern, Hornet, Triple X, Mark Windham, Evan Aho , Lawrence Stanley, Eli Flair and Randalls.

CUT TO: Merritt and Thomas in the ring, all smiles, after the CSWA’s first show in the Merritt Auditorium in 1988.


(The music slowly fades out as the image transitions to...)

Temper, Temper

(CUTTO: A hallway in the back. The camera pans and we see Tom Adler walking down the hallway. He comes to a door and grabs the knob to go in. He pauses for a moment and walks in. The camera follows him into the room where we find HORNET unpacking his bags.)

(Hornet drops the bag in his hand and stands straight up to meet Adler.)

ADLER: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax a minute. I didn’t come here to start a fight with you. I think we can both save that for later. I came here to talk. JUST talk.

HORNET: Just talk? The last time I believed that I ended up with a bottle of pills stuffed in my mouth. What in the world could we possibly have to talk about at this point, Adler?

ADLER: Something that apparently affects both of us.

HORNET: Unless it’s got something to do with you retiring to officially become Maxwell’s houseboy, then I can’t see how.

ADLER: Hornet, you and I have NEVER liked each other. Never have. And, I suspect it’s safe to say we never will. Most people would say that we’re both just too damned good and our egos too damned big to ever peacefully coexist for any real length of time. I think most people realized a long time ago that no matter WHAT Merritt had to say to me when I came back here that we were DESTINED to be in this position sooner or later.

HORNET: That’s your big revelation? Your continued obsession with me? Or that once again someone “kept” you from getting to me?

ADLER: Just LISTEN for a moment. Now, I don’t know if you caught Merritt’s comments the other day or not…

HORNET: What about it, Tommyboy?

ADLER: Hornet, maybe you can stand here and pretend to be above the fray about this issue. But, you and I both know that when federations start talking about “New Blood” what they’re really saying is that there’s no ROOM for what they perceive as “Old Blood.” And, whether you or I like it or not, WE are the Old Blood around here.

HORNET: I’ve heard that pitch before. I’m still here.

ADLER: Yeah, I heard it before too. Only, the last time it was phrased a little differently…. “Legends Need Not Apply.” And I sat on the sidelines for over four years until Steve Thomas decided to reevaluate my relationship with this company.

Now, maybe you’re safe from all of this. Maybe “Hornet” is all the stroke you need to weather the latest storm of out with the old, in with the new. On the other hand, maybe you’ve walked your way through one too many matches. Maybe you’ve shrugged off one too many losses. And, maybe… just maybe… Merritt can see signs of a NEW Franchise in somebody like Shane Southern or Dan Ryan

HORNET: Works for me. Let one of them carry your massive ego on his back. Is there a point to this?

ADLER: Yeah, there is. And it’s a simple one. Whether you, I, Eli Flair, Mark Windham, or the rest of the so called Legends around here like it or not, WE are the people Merritt was talking about. And when we walk out there tonight, we aren’t just competing against each other. No. You, me, and the rest of the icons around here are competing with the new guard. And, make no mistake… ALL our jobs are on the line.

Now, if the rest of the guys around here wanna take this seriously, that’s their problem. I don’t have any control over them. I DO, however, have a little something to say about OUR match. I DO have some control over what WE do out there.

Two years ago, Hornet, I listened to Eli Flair proclaim that I was no longer good enough to hang with the new breed. And for two years, I’ve BUSTED MY ASS to prove him wrong. And I did it.

Now, I didn’t come in here to remind you of how things have gone for you over the last couple of years. There was a point to that a month ago. But, I saw the look in your eyes at PRIMETIME… and I see the look in your eyes now. And I can see that right here, right now, you are MORE focused than you have been for ANYTHING in a long time. And, whether you wanna admit it or not, deep down in places we don’t like to talk about, you KNOW that I played no small part in that.

HORNET: Way to pull out the “Few Good Men” reference, Adler. I haven’t heard that since Merritt was on the witness stand…what, sevent years ago? What are you looking for, a pat on the back?

ADLER: No. I don’t want your thanks. And, while I may deserve it, I couldn’t even give a less about your respect. No. But, while you’ll never admit it… you OWE me something. And you owe yourself something too.

HORNET: (laughs) I’m glad this has all been about you letting me know I owe you, Tom. If you truly believe that, then you’re even more deluded than I ever thought. So, what do you want, other than the ego stroke you get from thinking you made me.

ADLER: Yeah, I want something. I want you and I to EARN our ranks out there tonight. I want you to take that hatred you feel for me right now and leave it ALL in the ring. I want us to go out there and beat on each other until there’s NOTHING left of EITHER one of us! To go until we can’t go any more… then go some more! To go until one of us is half DEAD in that ring… then the other DRAG him up by the hair, look him in the eye and say WE’RE… NOT… DONE! And we keep going.

And, when it’s all said and done… and as GOD is my witness it WILL be done… no matter WHO wins and WHO loses… you… and I… we walk BACK to the locker room… and we BOTH look DAN RYAN and SHANE SOUTHERN in the eyes… and we say TAKE THAT SPOT! And we DARE ‘em to do it!

Years ago, Flair told Hogan they were gonna fill their shoes. Hogan didn’t understand that, but YOU do. And, damnit, when you and I are done here tonight… the WORLD will understand it too!

THAT’s what I want!

(Adler slowly backs toward the door, then turns and walks out.)

HORNET: Do I have to stop at ‘half-dead?’

No Respect

(CUTTO: Elsewhere in the locker room, as we see Mr. Wrestling #27 lacing up the back of his mask. The camera zooms in on him..)

MR. WRESTLING #27: You know, since the moment I signed my name on a dotted line, I figured, well, just take things as they come. I figured that in due time, my name would be right up there next to the likes of the Tom Adlers, the Hornets, the Mike Randalls. But still.. after all of this time, nothing.

I've won titles all over this world, and I'm facing someone by the name of Corey Stackhouse? Where's his recognition? What has he done? Not a damn thing.

The biggest show in the history of the CSWA, and I didn't even make the pay per view. That's a bunch of SH*T, and I promise all of you...by the end of the night, none of you will forget the name, Mr. Wrestling #27.

Home Again

(CUTTO: John Simons and Manuel Juarez at their post twenty-feet to the left of the rampway, the pair sits behind a fake marble desk and a well-made ON TIME logo hanging overhead. There’s a buzz to Merritt Auditorium tonight, and for a change Sammy Benson is nowhere near. John acknowledges the crowd with appreciative head nod. He’s working in the CSWA, and tonight reminds him why that’s special.)

JS: Howdy, Howdy, Howdy you’re ON TIME to join us for one heck of a good show tonight.

(The fans react favorably to a stirring in the ring.)

MJ: Oh Juan, wordplay not you forte. Only Manny have skill to thrill with an angelic voice.

JS: How’s that debut album selling on your website, Manny? I especially liked the claim: “The first two million buyers get autographed copies.” Smooth.

(Manny scoffs dismissively.)

JS: While it’s not Clay Aiken good, I did enjoy the cover of Men At Work’s “It’s our mistake.”

MJ: Juan, you fired, you minute-watching clock-hogger.

JS: (Rolls eyes) Great Pre-Anniversary show for you fans tonight, but first let’s head ringside where Chad Merritt has a big announcement.

MJ: Ow! Manny’s contract extension broadcast live!

(CSWA Owner Chad Merritt heads to a podium on the stage above the rampway. CSWAvision welcomes him out with a special video presentation set to a modified version of "Hail To The Chief." As he steps out, the video cuts off, replaced by a test pattern momentarily before it cuts to the ON TIME logo.)

Merritt: There's something special about March here in the Merritt Auditorium, especially when it's time for ANNIVERSARY. (cheap crowd pop) I know the last few months have been difficult for CSWA fans. You've been forced to watch more "Best Of" programs than you should. We haven't come to your hometown as often as we used to. And you've been forced to watch other channels with inferior action.

But that's why I'm here with two big announcements. The first is, there's a reason that some of you have had trouble ordering the pay-per-view from your local cable and satellite operators... it's because we're going to show CSWA15 LIVE from here at the Merritt Auditorium... for FREE. (Huge crowd pop).

It's just my way of thanking fans who have been so loyal to us over the last fifteen, sixteen years. You've put up with a lot, and so it's a chance to give back. So get on the phone and tell your friends that they've got an opportunity to see the biggest wrestling show of the year yet on free television, right here on NCN.

The second announcement is the one I promised about the CSWA World Championship. There are obviously a lot of folks that would love to shove their noses in the match between Dan Ryan and Shane Southern. But tonight, in this match for the CSWA World Championship, that's not going to happen. Because first, anyone who interferes in the match is going to be fired quicker than Donald Trump can say it. And second... because the match for the World Title is going to be inside a roofed steel cage.

(Merritt points upward as the spotlights highlight the large steel structure hanging high above the ring. The crowd is going nuts.)

Merritt: Just think of it as another Anniversary gift. Ryan and Southern may be the two best wrestlers in the world today, and we're all going to get to see them go at it. No interruptions, no interference. And we'll see who walks out the World Champion. Thanks folks... and we'll see you in an hour or so for ANNIVERSARY!

(Crowd pops as Merritt exits the stage. The music hits, but once again, only the test pattern comes up on CSWAvision for some reason.)

JS: Ryan/Southern in a roofed steel cage! Merritt not wanting outside interference with the way the belt changed hands last summer, I for one can’t blame him.

MJ: We smart ones can and will. Yet ‘nother stunt in long line of stunts. Bad things happen in CSWA when cages come into play.

JS: You’d know better than anyone.

MJ: (disgusted) Manny pay his debt to society Juan, why can’t you accept that.

JS: Hornet/Adler already mixing it up backstage, tensions running high as the CSWA’s biggest show draws nearer.

MJ: Especially for masked idiot #27. Why masked man act pissed beyond me. You want respect, reveal ugly mug. Worked for my buddy Juan.

JS: As did learning English by continuous cable watching for my buddy Manuel. Esther Rolle was like a second mother to you, wasn’t she?

MJ: Dyn-O-Mite!

JS: And with that ON TIME mercifully heads back to the ring!

Mr. Wrestling #27 vs Corey Stackhouse

Stackhouse is a young pup signed recently by Merritt to regenerate the CSWA’s talent level. Recently threatening the entire roster over what Merritt deems “lazy” attitudes, he’s sent his scouts on a global whirlwind search for fresh-faced, eager talent.

Stackhouse showed an early presence, but tonight he didn’t look close to being ready. Opening night nerves, maybe, whatever the case, Corey was handled in quick fashion.

Mr. Wrestling #27 is another recent addition, but who’s to say if he’s fresh-faced? Revered in Mexico, the mask wrestler is an under appreciated statement stateside. Twenty-seven himself was feeling the non-love after mauling Stackhouse in four minutes.

Usually a technical wizard, Twenty-Seven aggressively brawled, breaking repeated rules, and generally taking Stackhouse’s arse kicking too far.

Afterwards he questioned Merritt’s scouting eye.

(CUTTO: Inside the ring, near a fallen Stackhouse. MR. WRESTLING #27 on the house mic)

“This is the competition that the CSWA gives me? This is un-FREAKIN-believable. Tonight, in front of each and every one of you... I show you exactly what I'm all about...”

Taken by some as a joke, Twenty-seven raised more than a few eyebrows after his effort tonight.


(FADEIN: Cameron Cruise' dressing room, just before
his match with Shamon. As he finishes lacing up his
boots, he heads towards the mirror. Just before going
inside, Cruise's quiet dressing room comes alive with
the dressing room phone. Cruise steps back out and
heads toward the phone, picking it up.)

CRUISE: Cruise here.

VOICE: Hey hon, it's me. I'm just checking in to see
if you're about ready head down the hall.

CC: Sure thing. Where you at now?

MD: I'm finishing some things in the limo, but I'm on
my way...I just have to talk with---


(Cruise checks for the connection a couple of times
and then shrugs, giving up and hanging up the phone.)


Cameron Cruise vs Shamon

As the bell rings the same man who earlier helped a staff member comes down the aisle and to ringside, sitting down next to the ring bell, right leg over his left knee, sitting properly.

After Shamon stalling for several moments, Cruise gets upset and shoves him. Shamon stalls a little while longer and moonwalks over to Cruise. He attempts to distract him with several fast hand movements and but Cameron Cruise ends up kicking him in the gut and then sending a folded over Shamon face-first into the canvas.

The Gloved One grovels in pain and rolls to the outside. Cruise rolls to the outside and begins chasing him around the ring. Shamon slides back into the ring and gets tripped up. Cruise gets a hold of him and begins to assault him with several punches,following it up by whipping him into the ropes and nailing him with a high knee.

Cruise is admonished for using an open fist by the referee. As he's getting raked over the coals, Shamon goes outside of the ring and heads towards Mercedes, trying his best to flirt with her. Shaking off the effects of Cruise’s blows by grabbing his crotch, reenacting Michael’s “The Way You Make Me Feel” Video.

As he courts Mercedes with Cruise's back turned, they pass by that same man, who as they pass by grabs Shamon by the
back of his neck. Then, with a right hand he sends Shamon backward about 10 feet, but in the process, knocking Mercedes down too.

Upset at the accident, the man then goes to Shamon and
picks him up, hitting him with a devastating Gut-wrench powerbomb, and then throws him back into the ring, standing by the corner post, watching the match.

Cruise finally giving his defense a rest with the ref turns in surprise to see Shamon laid out. Exactly how hard did he hit the guy? He’s a stud, no doubt. Cruise lifts Shamon to his feet and puts him into an abdominal stretch. Shamon cries out in agony and Cruise responds by wrenching it even more. But somehow Shamon was able to slip out, most likely due to the Soul Glo dripping from his hair, with Cruise's
momentum carrying him into the referee and knocking him to the ground.

Cruise gets up and goes after Shamon. He sets him up and executes the Reality Check. He goes for the cover and realizes the ref is out. He goes to try and revive him, but Steel Viper comes thru the audience with his shoulder taped up from the heinous attack a few weeks earlier, courtesy of Eddie Mayfield.

Cruise doesn't see Viper as he slides into the ring, spins Cruise around, clinches him, and delivers a flurry of knees into his ribs. He then releases the clinch and slaps on his variation of the sleeper, the Viper Clutch. Cruise passes out and Viper drops him to the canvas.

Viper walks over to Shamon, still groggy from the Reality Check. He lifts him up and tosses him onto Cruise. Viper rolls out of the ring and begins yelling at the referee to wake up. The ref comes to and makes a slow three count, giving Shamon a surprising upset win.

When Shamon realizes he somehow won the match he gets up and celebrates doing a skippy rendition of Kevin Bacon alone in the warehouse from Footloose. Using the ropes as a wall and banging up against it. He starts skipping around the ring and Viper enters the ring behind him. He snatches Shamon by the neck and hoists him up over his head. He tosses Shamon to the floor and grabs the microphone from the ring announcer.)

STEEL VIPER: I'm sure you're all wondering why the hell I came out here tonight and did what I did. What can I say? Pride's a motha****er.

See, Cruise got the best of me by going out an enlisting the help of some chump to come out and interfere, distract me, whatever you want to call it. You know what I call it? BULL****! He went out and got help because he wasn't MAN ENOUGH to handle his dirt by himself.

Do you think I could get any justice in New Frontier for the crap you pulled? They don't care. The office is in turmoil and not one person there gives a damn about the talent. (Pauses.) So Cam, I decided to take matters into my own hands. Due to how NFW is structured, if I want to fight you again. I gotta wait until you show up on my schedule, which as far as I can tell ain't gonna happen. But here Cruise, here in the CSWA.I can getcha and not have to worry about the repercussions.

You picked the wrong man to mess with and for doing that. I'M GONNA MAKE YOU PAY! You're gonna be taught a lesson on what happens when you screw me over. And Cruise, you brought this on yourself. You're the only one to blame.

(Viper starts to put the mic down, but lifts it up again to say another message.)

Oh yeah, one more thing. Eddie, take a good long hard look at what I've done to this fool. And then let it sink in that the same is gonna happen to you!

(Viper drops the mic and attacks the unconscious Cruise, for good measure. He drives into his ribs with several knee drops. Viper gets in Cruise's face and slaps him. He mouths something to him, slaps him again, and then leaves. )

He's My What?

(Minutes after the match as ON TIME is on commercial break and Viper has left the ring. Cruise slowly awakens, as his senses return he looks around for Mercedes, who with the help of the mysterious man, is being helped into the ring. Cruise, upon seeing the unexpected and unorthodox aid of the stranger, takes her from him and tends to her quickly. Then, as he's ready to go, he sees the stranger still "burning holes through him". Mercedes sets down off the apron, but as she does so, the man pulls Cruise back into the center of the ring. Not in the mood for games, Cruise pushes him away and again attempts to leave but to no avail. The man pulls him back again, looking him dead in the eyes for a staredown. Cruise, having enough, turns to cock his fist, but just as he gets ready to let loose, Mercedes jumps right in the middle of them and breaks them apart.

MD: Cameron, NO!! Stop!! Before you do anything, let me explain!!

CC: Who is this guy??!! Tell me, and tell me now!!

MD: The other day, when I told you I had things to take care of....that was with him. But it's not what you think!!! Cam, honey...this guy...this man...Carter...he's here with me...


(Cruise begins to recock his fist, but Mercedes gets in his face.)

MD: But he's here for you!! He's here honey, because he's your BROTHER!!!

(Cruise, now flushed and pale, drops his fist, his hand going limp. He eye's his "brother" very carefully, and circles him, Carter's eyes still locked on Cameron's. Cruise, in disbelief shakes his head and heads back up the aisle toward the back, leaving Mercedes in pursuit and Carter in the ring, a slow smile coming over his face.


CUTTO: Rudy Seizter in Melton’s locker room, a gloriously decorated office, very modern, and embarrassingly expensive. Melton’s kicked back on a black leather sofa, to his left is Little Voltron, sprawled over a glass coffee table with golden trim, eating skittles from a bowl.)

(Crowd pops as they see Melton on the FanTron.)

RUDY SEIZTER: Joey Melton fifteen years ago you walked into this very arena and...

JOEY MELTON: And put the company on my back, where it’s leeched ever since. Seizter, Hornet might allow you to sniff his Whopper wrapper, but I don’t. You owe me your job, and after fifteen years a thanks would be nice.

RUDY SEIZTER: That’s a subjective take.

JOEY MELTON: Don’t use words Adrian can’t understand.


JOEY MELTON: Exactly. Now you’ve angered the man.

SEIZTER: Tonight Nathan Cross, but Joey for a man who (Rudy sarcastically eyes the camera) built the company, you’re not booked on ANNIVERSARY. Why?

MELTON: Why? Why? (seconds pass) WHY?

(Little Voltron finally realizes that’s his cue, and hops to his feet.)

LV: Because this is an oppressive world we live in, that consistently values style over substance. You’re looking, Seizter, and God’s good gift to wrestling, THE definitive New Yorker, and a damn good chef. Joey Melton.

(Voltron plops back down to finish his candy.)

SEIZTER: Style over substance?

MELTON: Bingo Chachi.

SEIZTER: This from a man who went sixty minutes in a cage on a Cruise ship with a mi---ur, Adrian.

MELTON: (thinks) A man who works under any condition, and does so willingly.

SEIZTER: From a man who once taped a month’s worth of episodes of Double Dare back in the late ‘80s.

MELTON: And repeatedly captured the flag.

SEITZER: From a man whose diamond studded robes could fund a free college education for an at risk student.

MELTON: I’ve auctioned off many a robe over the last year, and my sincerest hope is that the money does good.

SEIZTER: From a man who spent the better part of the late ‘90s in a drug-landed stupor, embarrassing himself in and out of the ring, settling countless sexual harassment lawsuits under the table.

MELTON: Actually the majority of those were, um, (laughs) settled under the covers. Extended foreplay, Seizter. A man of substance walks the extra mile without fear.

SEIZTER: (exasperated) From a man who, while on a tour of 3rd world countries, poverty stricken countries, held hour long autograph sessions, priced at $50 a piece.

MELTON: Discounted, and with a free photo op. Hey, I inspired some of those kids, smuggled a few back in the states with me to help around the house, too.

SEIZTER: You do too much.

MELTON: I’ve always thought so. As you’ve just proven Seizter, I am a man who has done more for this sport, for the CSWA than anyone in history and that includes the guy who invented indoor plumbing...

LV: It’s close though.

MELTON: Real close. And to not be on the PPV...it hurts. Tonight I will take out my frustration on Nathan Cross, a man so dumb he owns to creating ON TIME. A man so...

(The office door swings open; Chad Merritt comes walking through, mouth agape.)

MERRITT: Melton...what the heck is this?

(Little Voltron scampers off the coffee table, and runs out the door. Melton clears his throat.)

MELTON: Russo told me to find the first available room.

MERRITT: And you choose my OFFICE?

MELTON: Uh. After fifteen years this is one of the perks?

MERRITT: No. It’s really not.

MELTON: Can I just stay a while...

MERRITT: Melton, you’ve got a match in...NOW!

(Joey stumbles up off the couch, fumbling his words.)

MELTON: Right, uh, don’t, uh...there’s some of Adrian’s things in the bathroom...I’d stay clear for an hour until they dry, don’t ask. The man’s spent the last month being shot out of a cannon. Think he’s just overly happy to have work.


(Melton slips out the door as Chad shakes his head.)

MERRITT: That man scares me.

SEIZTER: Yet somehow he finds doctors that’ll keep on writing prescriptions.

Nathan Cross vs. Joey Melton

Nathan Cross came to the ring. Normally, he played to his CROSSovers, but today his mood was much darker. He hit the ring, awaiting Joey Melton who took his time making it to the ring. The match started with Nathan surprising Joey with a flurry of angry offense, settling mostly with punches and kicks instead of his usual flare. Joey backpedaled until Nate's anger put him in a bad spot and Joey dropped him with a drop toe hold, a dropkick when he got back up, and a clothesline. Joey quickly slowed the match down after Nate staggered back to his feet, putting him in a headlock and slinging him to the mat.

Melton held the resting hold, letting Nate's anger spend itself out while trapped. Joey's experience kept Nate at bay. Every time Cross made a comeback, Melton would outwit him and put him right back into the headlock, infuriating his CROSSovers. Nathan finally got out of the predicament when he went to whip Joey into the ropes. Joey held, and this time Nate was prepared, using the momentum to head into a spinning Belly to Back suplex.

Nate controlled this part of the match, utilizing his given repetoire of moves. Melton countered out of an irish whip, Nate missing his dropkick. Joey took the match and began working him over with an array of moves designed to ground Cross. While holding his leg, Nate nailed Melton with an enzuguri. They both lie on the mat as the ref counted. Before getting to ten, both men were up and swinging fists. The punches ended when Melton sent a thumb to Nate's eye. A kneelift later, and Nate was back down. Joey began wrapping Nate up into a figure 4 until Nate switched
it into a small package.

He only got a 2 count, but the possibility for a quick nding was there. Joey popped up, as did Nate who was immediately taken down by a chop block. Nate grabbed his knee, still fighting to his feet. Joey lunged with another chop block but Nate flipped over him, grabbing his waist and spinning Joey to the mat. The ref's hand slapped the canvas 3 times, shocking Joey Melton and bringing the CROSSovers to their feet.

Nate got the win... with the help of holding the tights and the top rope for leverage.

The Boy Is Back In Town

(CUT TO: The ring. Standing in the ring, his hair tied back in a ponytail, wearing Buddy Holly-framed glasses, a A2004 T-shirt and regular jeans is JJ DeVille, who has added 10-15 pounds of muscle since he has last been seen in the CSWA. Could it be-- the CSWA's comic foil is now beginning to-- gasp-- take himself seriously?)

JJ: Y'know, my entire career here as a wrestler has had its ups and its downs... who am I kidding? It's been mostly down. I've spent my entire career here in the CSWA as the skinny kid in the back getting pushed around, getting beat in under 15 seconds, getting tossed into the third row... the rookie who only had a spot in the dressing room because he did Eddy Love's laundry, because he washed the windows at Eddy Love's palatial mansion. JJ DeVille-- the Original King of Cool, fighting off all the neo-maxie zoom dweebies of the CSWA, doing his best... AVOID THE NOID. (Many in the crowd start to laught. CUT TO: A fan holding up an old NOID Domino's Pizza doll. JJ stops and pauses.) No, let me be serious here for a minute. I might have been naive my career. I might have been pushed around. I might have done things that, in retrospect, I'm not too proud of. I may have sued for title reigns. I may have taken the fall for Playboys, Incorporated. I may have embarassed myself and degraded myself. And yeah, I may have gotten my ass kicked from pillar to post. But there's one thing... there's ONE thing that no one in this promotion can say they've done. And that's... TAKEN ME DOWN! (JJ raises his fist up in triumph. Many in the crowd start to cheer. JJ looks around the ring and then... the crowd starts a JAY JAY chant. JJ looks around, smiling in disbelief.)

Now, for the past few months, a dastardly duo has been running around this promotion, doing whatever they've wanted. A few people have tried, but no one has stopped them yet. I'm talking about The Professionals-- Mayfield and Miles, the tag team champions of the world. (The crowd buzzes at their name.) These two guys remind me of the kids I grew up with... the kids who ganged up on people when they were vulnerable, the kids who pushed me around in the locker room, on the playing field, everywhere they could. No one in the CSWA has stood up to them. No one in the CSWA has drawn the line in the stand. (JJ pantomimes drawing a line with his foot.) No one in the CSWA has told them to take their packs of menthol Kool Breeze Sav-A-Lot brand of Wal-Mart smokes and to SHOVE IT UP THEIR KEISTERS! Well, Teddy and Gregg... guess what? At Anniversary, the man who with legs of lightning who is registered as an officially licensed HUMAN WEAPON in 45 states AND Guam has a match with you... a match for YOUR titles. And guess what I plan on doing? I plan on showing the world that the CSWA's version of Starsky and Hutch is NOOO match for its own version of McGuyver!

(CUT TO: The back, where Eddie Mayfield-- multiple titles on his shoulders, walks out with Craig Miles behind him and the 7-foot Bandit! Mayfield, of course, has the mic.)

MAYFIELD: (Shaking his head.) Well, lookie lookie lookie at whose all grown up! Well guess what, sparky-- you wanna call out The P-Are-Ohhs? Guess what? You got what you ASKED for. Yo-- let's get him!

(All three start to bum rush the ring, Mayfield first. JJ backs off and soon sees himself surrounded as Mayfield cackles and lites up a smoke. Bandit walks up and puts his big hamhock around JJ's neck.)

(Then, out of nowhere, the lights dim. Music starts to play-- GUESS WHO'S BACK? BACK AGAIN? GUESS WHO'S BACK? TELL A FRIEND! Lazers shoot up all over ringside. The camera picks up Mayfield saying WHAT THE F--? Then, from the skies, via bungee chord, drops... TROY WINDHAM. Windham turns Miles around, who backpedals under the ropes. JJ breaks free of Bandit and karate chops Mayfield who also backpedals out of the ring. Troy immediately kicks his former bodyguard Bandit in the gut and then hits him with the SLACKKNIFE! JJ picks up the mic.)

JJ: That's right! Mayfield, Miles. I'm drawing the line in the sand! Your days are numbered! I hit speed dial on my cellphone and GUESS WHO PICKED UP?

TROY: (snatching the mic) Mayfield, Miles... it's time this comes to an end. Troy Windham don't miss a party, and Anniversary's the biggest party of them all! Mr. CSWA, The King of the CSWA has returned... and he's going to be dressed for success... wearing YOUR gold! YOWWWWW!!!! (Troy starts to do the Fargo strut as the crowd roars. Then, he stops and sees JJ and instead points to him. The crowd starts to chant JAY JAY JAY JAY again as Windham leads them. JJ then does the Fargo strut.

JS: Troy Windham in the CSWA! ANNIVERSARY just got even better!

MJ: Edgar Allen enough out of you, please. Troy is back and he want all of you, all of Manny fan to Fargo Strut to my website and buy...

JS: Ugh. Join us at Anniversary you can’t afford to miss it! Until next time...

MJ: (Thinking they’re off the air; with no accent) Have you seen what Merritt’s changing for the PPV? What a ***** nutter.