RHUBARB JONES: This next contest was originally scheduled to be a TRIPLE THREAT match, however, due to Hornet’s unavailability…

(Boos echo throughout the crowd.)

RHUBARB JONES: …It is now scheduled for ONE FALL! First, making his way to the ring, hailing from ORLANDO, FLORRRIIIIDAAA … they call him the BLUE-EYED BADASS, “TRIPLE X” SEAN STEVENS!!!

(“I’m a King,” T.I. plays over the loudspeaker, as the curtain separates, and Stevens steps through, eyes trained on the ring. Trip pays no attention to the crowd, the flashes, or the mixed reaction… he saunters down the aisle, and slid underneath the bottom rope, taking off his t-shirt, as he stands on his feet to a nice response from the female demographic.

The camera zooms in, focusing on his body, especially his tattoos. On his right arm, a cross, symbolizing his religion, on his left shoulder, a pit-bull symbolizes his ability to be cool one minute, and snap the next, over his heart… his newest tattoo, a poison ivy leaf symbolizing love.

His theme comes to a halt as he paces in the ring, hoping from side-to-side, as his opponents theme comes on next.)

SB: You know, when he first came here about five or six years ago, I didn’t like him. I thought he was a pretty boy kiss-up, but now that I think about it, Sean is simply misunderstood and overlooked.

BB: How did I know you were going to say that? It’s typical Sammy Benson to cheer for the guy who tells everybody in the audience that they can kiss his rear end.

SB: Hey, I like the man’s style. At least he's here! While apparently Hornet takes another vacation when he's scheduled to wrestle. And with Poison Ivy? It wouldn't be the first time the man has broken up a relationship. There was Jewels Windham, then Teri Melton when she was with Lawrence Stanley.

BB: I don't think you can really count that one.

SB: Look, all I'm saying is that Bugbrain is a man-whore.

(CUEUP: "Ain't Goin' Down" by Garth Brooks)

BB: The former CSWA World Champion is back! Shane was forced to retire the title due to a knee injury suffered while competing in the NFW. After that, the UNIFIED World Championship, now in question, was revived. Southern’s looking great, like he’s prepared for war; he’d better be because Stevens definitely is.

(SFX: Ding, ding, ding…)

SB: Here we go, baby! There’s something about a Triple X match that makes me crave nachos! You feel like making a run for me, Buckley?

BB: No, I feel like doing my job. Both men meet in the center of the ring, jaw jacking, nose to nose… Triple X with a slap to the face of Southern! Shane shakes it off, almost disbelieving what just took place and confronts Stevens again… Another slap by the blue-eyed badass!! And, Shane Southern is ticked off! Trip slides out of the ring, Southern gives chase…

SB: Quickness edge goes to my boy Trip!!!

BB: Southern’s chasing him about the ring, Trip slides inside, bounces off the ropes; Southern’s in behind him, CLOTHESLINE—NO! Southern ducks it, Trip bounces off the other side LARIAT by Shane Southern sends Stevens crashing down on the mat hard!

SB: Going by the rule book that should probably be a disqualification, shouldn’t it?

BB: Two minutes into the match? Dear God, Sammy… will you ever change?

SB: Nope. Chicks dig me the way I am, baby!

BB: Stevens is up but Shane is on top of him. Southern’s not really known for his brawling abilities, but he’s slugging away at Stevens and has Trip reeling.

SB: Since when did closed fists become legal?

BB: Sammy, you’re so biased it’s almost comical! If Stevens were throwing those punches there’s no way you’d be crying foul.

SB: Riiiiiiight. With all that being said… is it ILLEGAL or not to use a closed fist?

BB: But—

SB: ILLEGAL… or not?

BB: TECHNICALLY it IS but—

SB: Thank you very much.

BB: Oh brother… Shane Southern sends Triple X to the ropes… he attempts another clothesline but Trip ducks it, hits the other side… FLYING FOREARM by Stevens! Trip bounces back up on his feet quickly; he shoots off to the ropes… SPLASH! And, he drops down for the cover… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!

SB: Trip should’ve known better, country hicks have a little more fight in them than that.

BB: Stevens is on his feet again, he’s scaling the ropes… Shane Southern is almost up as well… Trip leaps off… FLYING DROP KICK CONNECTS! Stevens with another cover… ONE! TWO! KICKOUT BY SOUTHERN! Stevens seems to have a lot to prove… he’s trying to end this thing early and that’s usually not his style.

SB: What do you mean it’s not his style? If he’s incorporating it, it’s HIS style. Furthermore, did you summons someone to get me those nachos I asked for earlier?

BB (Rolls his eyes): Yeah, they’re on there way.

SB: Don’t bat your eyes at me attitude boy!

BB: You do realize that Trip and Ivy are an item, right?

SB: Yeah, but that's just one mark against him. And it'll be over soon now that Hornet's putting the moves on her again. I mean, he's the 100 million dollar man... and Lord knows Ivy's needed some new boots for a decade now.

BB: Trip raises Southern off the canvas, EUROPEAN uppercut! ANOTHER! Southern stumbles to the corner… Trip charges with a SCORPION SPLASH—NO! SOUTHERN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY!! Trip hit his head on the metal post! I … think … YES! We have blood!

SB: Like the old saying goes, there’s nothing like seeing your own blood. Either you’re going to fold or fight. Knowing Sean like I do, he’s going to fight!

BB: Knowing Sean? You barely even LIKED him until recently! When's the last time you even talked to him, two years ago?

SB: Minor details my good man… minor details. He's good people.

BB: Trip is dazed; Southern appears to have his bearings about him… he charges… SPEAR sends Stevens crashing to the mat! Southern is up on his feet and he’s feeling it. Trip is up as well, he’s stumbling… Southern creeps up behind him… GERMAN SUPLEX! NO… SOUTHERN HANGS ON… ANOTHER GERMAN SUPLEX sees Stevens land on his neck!

SB: C’mon Stevens… You can beat this chump!

BB: Southern lifts Stevens up off the mat… Kick to the gut, as Shane shoots off to the ropes… SWINGING NECK BREAKER! But, Shane’s not done, he’s signaling to the crowd that he’s far from finished with Triple X. Shane uses a handful of hair to raise him up… RUDE AWAKENING! STEVENS IS GRIMACING! HE’S TWITCHING HIS NECK IS IN SO MUCH PAIN!

SB: He’s playing possum… Trip is smart, I have faith in him.

BB: Faith? Deacon would crucify you if he heard you mentioning faith. Southern with the cover… ONE! TWO! THR—KICKOUT! Shane on his feet, he lifts Sean up… Snap mare, sees Sean sitting in an upward position… Shane’s off to the ropes… DROPKICK to Sean’s neck! Another cover, ONE! TWO! THR— STEVENS GETS A SHOULDER UP!

SB: Somebody needs to get Trip a towel… that blood is really starting to flow. I hate to see such a great wrestler go out like this.

BB: It comes with the territory. Maybe Sean should think about this very moment the next time he spouts off about how much better he is than the rest of the wrestlers on the roster.

SB: The truth is the truth…

BB: Well look at him now… if you ask me, Shane Southern is a FAR better wrestler at the moment. Both wrestlers are on there feet… Trip voluntarily backs up into the corner, rope a dope style… Southern charges in swinging haymakers… OUCH! Trip counters with a kick to the groin that doubles Southern over! Irish Whip! SHANE WAS JUST DRIVEN SHOULDER FIRST INTO THE METAL POST! HE MAY HAVE DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER!

SB: I told you; never count the blond haired bad ass out!

BB: For starters Benson, it’s the blue-eyed badass…

SB: Yeah… that too.

BB: Southern falls outside of the ring as Trip comes out after him. Stevens with a Gorilla Press drops Southern neck first over the guardrail! The fans are really into this thing! Stevens, WHAT THE, Stevens is climbing the turnbuckle… He’s measuring Southern… SUICIDE DIVE—HE MISSES! STEVENS’ CHEST JUST BLASTED INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!

SB: My man has got to stay off of those ropes…

BB: Stevens is agonizing…Southern rolls Sean back inside of the ring… he covers… ONE! TWO! THREE! WOAH… STEVENS JUST BARELY GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! That was a close call…

SB: Whew!

BB: Southern’s smelling victory here… he’s signaling the end… Stevens slowly gets up to his feet… Southern’s measuring him… OH MY GOD! PARTY’S OVER—FACTOR-X! BOTH COMPETITORS SIMULTANEAOUSLY NAIL THE OTHER WITH THEIR FINISHER!

SB: For those of you at home living under a rock, they nailed each other with their finisher, which happens to be the same move!

BB: Southern uses his right leg to nail the Superkick, Trip uses his left… Trip did his out of desperation and both men are down! Stevens is out! Southern’s starting to inch his way over to the blue-eyed bad ass… he places his arm over Trip’s shoulder… ONE! TWO! THREE!!! NOOOOOOOO!

SB: Talk about a close call! FINALLY someone has arrived with my nachos! (Sammy flips the kid a nickel) Don’t spend it all in one place kid.

BB: How can you eat at a moment like this??!!!?

SB: Have you ever heard the saying… there’s always room for Jell-O? Well in this case… its Nachos.

BB: Southern is on his feet… he’s signaling for another Superkick. Trip is almost up as well… SOUTHERN MOVES IN… TRIP DUCKS! AND TACKLES SHANES KNEE! Southern is in pain, and Trip is taking advantage… he hooks him up Nature Boy style… FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCK!

SB: This is it… it HAS to be it. Southern can’t take too much of this hold. I’ve seen greater men than Shane Southern give in to the Figure Four.

BB: Southern is writhing in pain, as his shoulders touch the mat… ONE! TWO! SOUTHERN SITS UP! Trip is really applying the pressure! He’s leaning back and forth, trying to break Shane’s ankle! The ref is checking to make sure Shane can still compete!

SB: Stop this match… Shane quit! Did you hear him? I did!

BB: Shane Southern did no such thing! Trip is inching back… I think he’s up to no good… SOMEBODY GET IN THERE! TRIP IS USING THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE AND HE’S GONNA BREAK SOUTHERN’S DAMNED ANKLE!

SB: All a part of the price you pay stepping into that ring.

BB: SHUT UP, SAMMY! Trip is hanging onto that rope for dear life. The ref drops down on Stevens’ blind side for the cover… he notices Sean’s scheme and orders him to relinquish the hold! That’s damned fine officiating!

SB: That’s bias! Southern has been hitting Sean with closed fists all night, and the minute Sean responds the ref all of a sudden wants to act like a ref! This is a travesty!

BB: Stevens lets go of the hold but I think the damage is done… Southern is trying to get to his feet but the weight on his leg is too much. Stevens is standing over Shane’s limp body… blood running down Sean’s face. Sean uses a handful of hair to pull him up, SOUTHERN COUNTERS… PARTY’S OVER! Shane Southern connects with another Superkick, that sends Trip flying backwards out of the ring, but he nailed the referee as well!

SB: Wrong place, wrong time. That’s all I have to say about that.

BB: The ref is hurt, but not too bad, he’s showing life. This should be a count-out, this match should be over! Stevens is on his knees crawling over to the timekeeper. Sean pushes him out of his seat, and folds his steel chair. Southern is finally able to hold his own wait; he walks over to the ropes, trying to pull Trip inside the ring… CHAIRSHOT! Southern never saw it coming!

SB: Those are the best types of shots.

BB: Stevens is in the ring… the ref is almost up… none the wiser… Trip drops down for the cover… ONE! TWO! NOOOOOOOOOOO! SOUTHERN KICKED OUT AGAIN! Trip can’t believe it! Stevens is on his feet… he’s signaling for the end… Southern is using the ropes to help himself up… he’s up… Southern spins around looking for Sean… FACTOR-X! SEAN NAILED IT! HE DROPS DOWN FOR THE COVER! NOOOOO! NOT LIKE THIS! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

SB: THE BLOND HAIRED BAD ASS DID IT! I knew it!

BB: STEVENS CHEATED! He comes out here and whines about respect, he finally gets the opportunity to PROVE he deserves to be mentioned among the greats and what does he do?

SB: He wins!

BB: Somebody cut to a commercial or something… I think I’m going to be sick… up next, our MAIN EVENT for the UNIFIED World Heavyweight Title.