Chapter View

Riding the Beast

Sweet Sugar

An Unlikely Threesome

Dinner and a Movie

Cabin Fever

Life and Times

An Unlikely Threesome - Part 2


Lost and Abandoned

Drinking From The Cup Of Love

The Dark Side

An Unlikely Threesome - Part 2

IVY: This is way, way too screwed to be a joke….

Even lying on top of Hornet, Teri finds some way to lean in even closer, until they’re eye to eye.

TERI: Mmmm, been awhile since I had you like this.

There is a loud thump as Teri is unceremoniously bounced off the bed onto the floor. Ivy pounds her boot against the door again, with the same result, while Hornet sits up on the bed, trying to regain some semblance of normalcy. Teri climbs to her feet with a loud ‘hmph.’

TERI: What the heck is that? Some sort of security door?

HORNET: Not exactly. What kind of security door would lock us in?

TERI: Maybe it’s a panic room. I’ve got one in my house.

HORNET: Why? In case Timmy shows up with another engagement ring?

IVY: Or Lawrence Stanley decides to declare his love for you with a can o’Alpo?

TERI: I’m glad the two of you haven’t lost your comedy routine after all these years, but can we focus on getting out of here?

Teri tightens the towel around her as Hornet and Ivy look at each other, and then at the steel door.

IVY: Well we’re not getting out that way. I don’t suppose there’s a window or anything in the bathroom.

TERI: Nothing but a shower stall and the usual amenities.

Hornet stands up on the bed and knocks on the ceiling. Solid. Ivy starts going through the built-in closet and drawers looking for something, anything, that might be helpful. They’re empty other than the TV built into a cubby over the main closet.

HORNET: Hold on. You don’t go anywhere without…

IVY: --my lifeline. Smart man.

TERI: Finishing each other’s sentences. It’s just like old times.

HORNET: Do you get reception on the ship?

Ivy pulls her cellphone out of her bag and starts looking through a variety of menus. She hits a couple of buttons, adjusts something, then hits a few more buttons.

IVY: Not ‘real’ reception, but I can reach Adrian on the walkie-talkie function. Assuming he did like I said and left his phone on.

TERI: Who?

Ivy hits the button and the phone beeps.

IVY: Adrian? Adrian, are you there?

HORNET: Please tell me that’s not who I think it is.

TERI: Adrian who?

Ivy moves into the corner, away from the Hornet-Teri conversation, presumably to be able to hear him better.

IVY: Hey, Adrian. It’s me. We’re locked in cabin 1029. I need you to get Gethard or somebody down here. Let them know we’re behind a steel security door.

HORNET: Adrian. Little Voltron. The guy Joey treats like his own personal pet.

TERI: A midget? She’s calling a midget to get us out of here?

Teri and Hornet can hear Ivy, but Adrian’s voice comes out as mostly static.

IVY: Say that again?

TERI: I said… a midget!?

IVY: F---in Melton, f---ing shut up. Say that again, Adrian?

Ivy’s face goes from concerned to enraged.


HORNET: Red what? Oh please don’t tell me…

Ivy takes the earpiece out and turns the phone on speaker. The sound of an orchestra playing comes through clearly. And above it, the sound of one small man singing…

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I’m through with playing by the rules
Of someone else’s game

Too late for second guesses
Too late to go back to sleep
It’s time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes
And leap

Think of what we could do…together.
I’m limited
Together we’re unlimited
Together we’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been
We’ll make things the way they should have been.

HORNET: What the hell is that?

TERI: It sounds like a midget plagiarizing Broadway.

The phone suddenly goes dead.

IVY: All I was able to get from Adrian is that the rest of the company is locked in one of the banquet halls, then he got Lyle’s name out. Then it just…died.

TERI: I swear… I told Merritt to finish off those midgets when he had the chance.

IVY: Then we'd be completely S-O-L, Melons, cause as soon as I can get another signal to Adrian he can get us outta here.

(Teri simply rolls her eyes and clicks her tongue in disapproval. As if on cue, the television set turns on.)

HORNET: Oh dear Lord...

(The in-room set is broadcasting an image of Lyle Tallman doing his stage show. His voice is muted, allowing another one to come through the set.)

VOICE: Good afternoon, Ivy, Paul, Teri.

(The voice is distorted, giving no clues as to identity, age, gender, or general health.)

IVY: Who are you? Where are you?

VOICE: Unfortunately, it would have been a problem to have had you three listening to Lyle's performance... He's not very good at holding fast in the face of personal injury, you see. I do apologize for the inconvenience, Ms. McGinnis... but it is all part of the greater plan.

TERI: So we're just chopped liver? I don't think so.

VOICE: Calm yourself, Ms. Melton. I assure you that you won't be held here for any longer than is absolutely necessary. But until then...

(All of a sudden, the volume on the television clicks on, and Lyle's voice filled the room.)

HORNET: (holding his head) No. Oh, no, no, no.

IVY: Turn it off or I put my fist through it.

TERI: You'll have to wait your turn.

(All three of them scrambled for the television in the hopes of silencing the midget.)