Chapter View

What Has Gone Before: Thomas

What Has Gone Before: Hacker

Eighteen Years Ago: Men at Work

Eighteen Years Ago: Raindrops Keep Falling

Home, Team

What Has Gone Before: Eli Flair

Coming of Age

What Has Gone Before: Unified

The Lineup

GOLD RUSH:
Greensboro Ring

Center Ring: Old Friends

GOLD RUSH:
Presidential Ring

Center Ring: Upstaged

GOLD RUSH:
Title Shot Ring

GOLD RUSH:
United States Ring

Presidential Approval Ratings

GOLD RUSH:
Center Ring

Don't Stop Now




GOLD RUSH Challenge
Center Ring - UNIFIED Title

(CUTTO: Troy Windham in the in the Center ring, enjoying every minute of the spectacle. If he only knew it’d take a year off his life. Windham tightens his headset and begins jumping on the balls of his feet.)

TROY WINDHAM: If you’re just turning over to this PPV Channel of GOLD RUSH you’ve missed a year’s worth of entertainment! While these jackals are going at it tooth and nail, I’ve found the next American Idol, fielded a call from JK Rowling, that hot cougar who writes books about underage wizards about the plot to her next book, and gave the Olsen twins the five pounds they needed to reach triple digits. A lot can happen in the Boy Troy’s world while the second-class fight amongst themselves for a ray of hope! So, dig it, Stephen Thomas wanted me to do a little commentary just in case Dan Ryan’s numbers sank like a stone again. I know you haven’t been watching any of the other rings. Why would you? The original shock jock can carry this show by himself! I’ve got a feeling we’ll be here all night waiting for the cream to rise, so let’s head upstairs to Marsha’s office and find out where she keeps those stacks of Troy Windham fan fiction.

(SFX: DING! DING!)

(CUTTO: Windham, halfway out of the ring, climbing back in.)

TROY WINDHAM: That better not be Ryan! (CUTTO: Watson rolling outside the ring, catching his breath.) Who? Ohhh. Ha! Watch this!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham holding the ropes open for Kevin Watson, formerly known as K-9. Kevin approaches cautiously, but then decides to accept the offer. Once in the ring, he starts to throw a right hand but Troy slides in, throws his arm around Watson’s shoulder and points to the camera.)

TROY WINDHAM: I’m Troy Windham here with the New Greensboro Heavyweight Champion, a belt held by hundreds. Most notably yours truly. K-9, how’s it feel?

WATSON: Great. I guess…

TROY WINDHAM: You’ve been able to put one foot in front of the other this time around in the CSWA. What’s the reason for the improvement? Is there a woman we need to know about? A younger sister?

WATSON: Troy, I’m not stopping here. This is nice, but…

TROY WINDHAM: But you want more? I got it. Pose for a quick shot before we begin?

WATSON: What the hell. Sure.

(CUTTO: Watson putting his arm around Troy’s shoulder, Windham stepping aside and with two hands around Watson’s collar, throwing him over the top rope.)

TROY WINDHAM: Wheeeeee!

(MARK!)

(CUTTO: Watson flying over the top rope and landing right in the arms of both Eron and JA. Both men, take a step forward and throw him off. Watson lands back on the apron, butt first, his feet never touching the floor.)

TROY WINDHAM: I had that one planned weeks ago, just didn’t think I’d get anyone dumb enough to fall for it. I mean, maybe Cameron Cruise, but we’ve watched him get his ass kicked all night. (Troy stops as the people in the front row seem to be pointing behind him.) What? Idiots. The show is here…

(CUTTO: Windham turning around just in time to see Kevin Watson flying off the top rope with a clothesline!)

TROY WINDHAM: OOF!

(CUTTO: Kevin Watson standing and pumping his fists! He turns, DOUBLE DROPKICK BY ERON AND JA!)

TROY WINDHAM: I can’t breathe. Time out. Time out!

(CUTTO: JA and Eron standing, nodding their heads. JA turns, then whips back and drops Eron with a dropkick! Eron FLIES back and almost goes over the top rope!)

TROY WINDHAM: Where’s that little mutt? Come here!

(CUTTO: Troy rushing over to pick Watson up off the mat. Windham fires a right hand. Another. Windham pushes Watson in a corner, and sinks in his gut with a right knee lift.)

TROY WINDHAM: Ladies and gentlemen (CUTTO: JA suplexing Eron) I’ve reactivated the CSWA Hotline and am now taking requests. How should I finish these kids off? (Windham snaps his elbow over Watson’s jaw.)

(CUTTO: JA pounding Windham’s back with a double axe handle. JA grabs Troy by the hair and throws him into the corner head first where he caves in Watson’s gut further.)

(CUTTO: Eron unsettling JA with a left uppercut. Troy Windham with a knife edge chop on Eron! Eron pokes the eyes of the UNIFIED champ, and holds on to him! Windham helpless with both arms held behind his back!)

TROY WINDHAM: Come on, JA! That crack about your gimmick was too easy. You’re right -- I shouldn’t have taken it.

(CUTTO: JA with a superkick!, but Windham gets out of the way and Eron is DRILLED! Eron falls back against the ropes, where Watson scoops him up and tries to send him over the top rope!)

TROY WINDHAM: Nice shot kid! You saw my wink then?

(CUTTO: JA spearing Windham!)

(SFX: DING! DING!)

TROY WINDHAM: What’s your problem? (grunt)

(CUTTO: Windham and JA rolling around on the mat, trading blows.)

(CUTTO: K-9 all but having Eron over the top, but Eron won’t go down!)

(CUTTO: Dan Ryan to the LOVE of the crowd jumping up and over the top rope and into the ring, where he immediately flattens Kevin Watson! Eron flips back in the ring, and breathes a sigh of relief! Just in time too! Eli Flair SMASHES his left boot over Eron’s face!)

TROY WINDHAM: I’ve got a call! Time out! (CUTTO: Windham whipping JA in a corner, where Eli Flair follows him in with Eron’s body! JA and Eron collide!) Hello. Welcome to the (Breathes) CSWA Hotline, how can I help you?

DAN RYAN: (standing behind Troy on his cell phone) Yeah, I’d like to beat the hell out of you and take my UNIFIED title back. You can help me do that, right? What do I press, option 3?

TROY WINDHAM: Listen fool, I haven’t got time for prank ----- (Aha!)

(CUTTO: Troy turning around slowly with a horrified look on his face to see Dan Ryan tossing his phone outside of the ring, and leaping in the air to level Windham with a DROPKICK!)

(CUTTO: Watson and Eli Flair trading blows!)

(CUTTO: Eron DDT’ing JA!)

(CUTTO: Dan Ryan with an incredible mix of speed and agility, pushes Troy back into the ropes then shoots him across the ring! Troy off the ropes, is caught with a VICIOUS clothesline! Ryan walks over to a shaken Troy, lifts him up….high over his head. BENCH PRESS SLAM!)

(CUTTO: Kevin Watson jumping on Ryan’s back, catching the former CSWA World Champion in a Sleeper hold! Ryan, hands on his hips, jumps back…FALLAWAY SLAM!)

(CUTTO: Eron charging in at Ryan, but Dan scoops him up and throws him into the opposite corner!)

TROY WINDHAM: (pointing at JA) Get him buddy! For Canada!

(CUTTO: JA nervously eyeing Flair then charging at Ryan! Dan catches JA and delivers a SPINEBUSTER that shakes the ring!)

(SFX: DING! DING!)

(CUTTO: Dan Ryan and Eli Flair staring at each other, slowly walking towards one another. Standing toe-to-toe! Both men trade quick blows!)

TROY WINDHAM: Two for one!

(SFX: DING! DING! The United States Ring ends, and the bell signals the beginning of the final GOLD RUSH ring for the UNIFIED World Title!)

(CUTTO: Troy Windham hands outstretched, running into the center of the big men, obviously trying to push them over the ropes. Neither man budges. Both look at Windham with bemusement on their faces.)

(CUTTO: Eli and Ryan shoot Troy Windham across the ring and off the ropes, arms held for a double clothesline, but Windham rolls between them and the pair instead clothesline an oncoming Cameron Cruise!)

TROY WINDHAM: Oh please.

(CUTTO: Windham eyes a charging Tobias Stevens. Troy steps away from the ropes towards Stevens, bends, and back body drops Stevens OUT OF THE RING!)

(CUTTO: Stevens hitting HARD outside of the ring as he goes through a table.)

(CUTTO: JA and Eron trying to get K-9 out of the ring.)

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and gentlemen the first man eliminated from the Center Ring, Tobias Stevens!!

(MARK!)

(CUTTO: Eli Flair, backed into Dan Ryan in a corner, reaches behind him and pops the Ego Buster with a series of HARD elbow shots.)

(CUTTO: Watson fighting his way out of the corner as Cameron Cruise cold cocks JA!)

TROY WINDHAM: Get him Cruise! Get him!

(CUTTO: Kin Hiroshi and Simon Theodore hit the ring! S.A.T savat kicks Eli Flair! Hiroshi looks around then kicks Theodore in the back of the knee! Flair gets two hands around S.A.T’s throat, CHOKESLAM!)

(CUTTO: Troy Windham alone in a corner, ripping off a turnbuckle pad.)

(CUTTO: Dan Ryan pushes his way past Eli and meeting Cameron Cruise in the center of the ring! Cruise shows no fear and fires a shot right across Ryan’s face! Dan staggers, smiles, then pulls Cruise under his legs!)

BB: Hello wrestling fans, Bill Buckley….EGO BUSTER! By Dan Ryan! And Cameron Cruise is twitching.

SB: Which means he’s not dead yet.

BB: Very true Sammy Benson. Sorry for the delay, well, sorry for the Center Ring commentary being handled by Troy Windham! A decision made up top, not by me or Mr. Benson we can assure you! What a great night of CSWA action so far! A night like this just makes the future so rich with promise!

SB: How long have you worked here Buckley?

BB: Sammy, even you can’t no-sell the cue cards anymore. Folks, we started this out with Troy Windham versus nine challengers. Tobias Stevens was the unlucky target of the first elimination. However, we still have all three CSWA champions in the ring: the surviving United States Champ Kin Hiroshi, the once-and-now-new Presidential Champion Cameron Cruise, and the man who won the Greensboro Title and a CSWA contract, Kevin Watson! They’re joined by the winner and runner-up from the Title Shot ring, Dan Ryan and Eli Flair – two men that UNIFIED Champion Troy Windham cannot be excited to see. We’ve also got former Greensboro Champ JA and Eron, both runners up in their ring by virtue of going out at the same time. Simon Theodore, the runner-up from the US ring, gives us an even eight. One of these men is going to walk out of this final ring of GOLD RUSH at the UNIFIED World Champion!

SB: Speaking of the UNIFIED Champ…. It looks like Troy has some more commentary for us!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham asking for a house mic, as he steps away from the turnbuckle to reveal a giant wad of CASH stuck in the turnbuckle.)

BB: Eli Flair and Eron going toe-to-toe! Powerslam by JA! And Simon Theodore has a rude awakening! Almost half of the men that made it to the center ring started the night without CSWA contracts!

SB: And the other half haven’t seen a dime off theirs in a year!

TROY WINDHAM: Yo Yo Yo! Pause the action men! Time for an important announcement. (CUTTO: the fighting in-ring reluctantly coming to a halt.) What you see right here (Windham points to the stuffed cash) is $10,000. For dregs like Cameron Cruise, and some of you other no talent hacks most of the world has never heard of, that’s a lot of money. For me, that’s usually what I pay on a weekly basis to keep my exploits in the right newspapers! But tonight, I’m offering it to any and all of you who eliminate Dan Ryan! (CROWD: BOO!) He’s a cancer on this sport! He’s a cheater! The man is afraid of a piss cup! His reign as World Champion nearly sank this ship. If you wanna get paid, if you wanna EAT real steaks tonight, get that piece of (CENSOR) out of the ring. He had his shot!

BB: On that’s disgusting!

SB: Have you seen what this company still pays Chad Merritt? That’s disgusting.

BB: Windham can’t possibly expect anyone to take him up on his offer? There are such things in this sport as honor, valor, and decency!

(CUTTO: Cruise, Hiroshi, S.A.T. and Watson bum rushing Dan Ryan! Flair stands back as the pack of wolves devours Ryan. Dan fights them off, most taking some brutal shots for becoming bounty hunters.)

BB: They’ve got Dan Ryan teetering on the top rope! Hold on Ryan! Hold on! These fans in the CSWA Auditorium don’t want to see the Ego Buster eliminated! Ryan wrapping himself around the ring ropes! Hiroshi with a shot to Ryan’s groin!

SB: That’s it Kin. Loosen up those stones!

BB: Half the men in the ring are focused on Dan Ryan! Eli Flair and Eron are going toe-to-toe in one corner. JA has taken advantage and is going after the UNIFIED Champion, but he just took a vicious elbow!

SB: He might as well just jump over the top rope now!

BB: They can’t budge Ryan more! He’s halfway over but that’s it! (CUTTO: Troy Windham rushing in and throwing all of his body weight into the fray!) WINDHAM! NO! (CUTTO: Ryan slapping the apron as he goes up and over and onto the floor!)

(CROWD: Booooo!)

BB: Windham just, I won’t dare to say he eliminated Ryan by himself…

SB: He just pocketed the 10 grand back!

BB: Eli Flair! (MARK!) Charging at Troy! Flair all over Windham like super glue! Eli sends Troy into the ropes, HOT SHOT! And now he’s standing over the money!

(CUTTO: Dan Ryan shaking his head in disgust on the outside of the ring.)

(CUTTO: Eli Flair ripping the money from the turnbuckle and throwing it into the crowd.)

SB: That’s stealing! Somebody get Gethard down here and get that money back from these peons!

BB: Flair sticks it to Troy Windham! Windham rushes in to stop the fire sale! But Eli has Troy in a headlock, now he’s running the Boy Troy’s face over the top rope! Just a little spark to start a fire!

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen, Dan Ryan has been ELIMINATED from the Center ring!

BB: Ryan was cheated in a CSWA ring again! This crowd can’t believe it! That’s for damn sure!

SB: That’s the name of the game Buckley! Do you really think a guy like Eli Flair is upset to see competition like Dan Ryan eliminated?

BB: Troy Windham originally told CSWA owner Stephen Thomas that he refused to defend the title any more against Dan Ryan or his brother Mark – that’s what led to GOLD RUSH, and now Troy has pulled an ace out of his sleeve and gotten rid of the man he’s most afraid of! Flair sends Troy into the ropes, but Hiroshi steps in, SIDE-SLAM! Great teamwork by the UNIFIED and United States Champions! Eron and Cruise going at each other! Cruise with a neckbreaker!

SB: What if Cameron Cruise walks out of here as UNIFIED Champion?

BB: Not possible. (CUTTO: K-9 sending JA over the top rope, but JA holds on.)

SB: Really? And did you think Dan Ryan would go out SECOND?

BB: JA pulls himself back over the ropes, and tackles K-9! It’s the former Greensboro Champ versus the current one! JA turns and leaps onto the middle rope! LIONSAULT! The former Greensboro champ does a little jig and leaps back onto the ropes! AN Encore performance maybe?

(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise leaps onto the ropes next to JA! Both men look at each other, then Watson, and nod!)

BB: Double Lionsault! But Watson moves!

SB: He’s a wily vet, Buckley. The kind of man who’s learned to put up with the rain if he wants to get to the end of the rainbow.

BB: Clearly the time in Japan has served him well. (CROWD POP!) Flair with Troy Windham in a Press Slam! He’s got Windham, the UNIFIED World Champion at least three feet over his head! Sammy he’s going to toss Troy into the third row! Fans of CSWA History, ah screw it! New Champion!

(CUTTO: Simon Theodore grabbing Troy’s right leg and pulling him off of Flair’s shoulders just as Eli was in motion.)

BB: What in the world? (CUTTO: Troy thanking, then SlackKnifing S.A.T.!) Why would S.A.T. save Windham?

SB: Maybe he wanted to be the one who did it, Buckley. That or maybe the Spelling Bee Champion is a fraud and an idiot. We’ve been here long enough not to fully discredit the latter.

(CUTTO: Eli Flair catching S.A.T. by the neck as he bounces back up from Troy’s shot. Flair takes a step to his left and tosses S.A.T over the top rope.)

BB: Theodore over, but not out!!! Sammy the kid is hanging on with one hand!

SB: Sometimes that’s all we have to hang on to. We can’t all be married to Dixie Chicks.

BB: Theodore on the apron looking into the crowd, stunned by his own resiliency!

(CUTTO: S.A.T turning back to face the ring, then getting clotheslined OFF the apron by Eli Flair. And the crowd MARKS again!)

BB: Flair finishes the job! Eron with a clothesline to back of Flair’s head and the former World Champ hangs over the top rope like a rag doll! These two haven’t liked each other for a long time!

(CUTTO: JA hip tossing Windham out of a corner.)

(CUTTO: Cruise hoisting K-9 up with a Double Chicken wing.)

SB: You know how much I’d love to see the big bonehead sent out this early. Eli Flair is proof the CSWA should’ve used standardized testing when accepting applications. You think with those meat hooks he could color in a dot with a number 2 pencil?

BB: I thought there was a joke in there about him not being smart enough to answer the questions correctly.

SB: Well, Buckley “C” is always a good guess. Who knows how far that’d take Flair.

BB: The man is a former CSWA World Champion, Sammy. And after tonight, he may add UNIFIED World Champion to his incredible resume. Eron can’t lift Flair all the way over he’s going to need help! And here comes Windham! Troy scoops up Flair with Eron’s help!

(CUTTO: K-9 breaking out of the Chicken Wing, rushing to the ropes then at Cruise. Cameron backdrops Watson into Eron!)

SB: For the love of…

BB: Eli back on his feet! Saved by Cameron Cruise!

SB: That alone discredits a lot of his career. To end it by being saved by Cruise. How does one recover?

BB: Eli with a rake of the eyes, and Eron is blinded! Flair with a big shot over Eron’s shoulders and he goes down to the mat! Windham is furious with Cameron!

(CUTTO: Troy miming the previous action. Out of his mind that Cruise would cost the remaining contestants the chance at eliminating the man who started his career as “The Eliminator”.)

BB: Cruise turns his back to Windham, Troy spins him around and fires a right hook! No! Blocked by Cruise! The Presidential Champ decks the UNIFIED Champion!

(CUTTO: Kin Hiroshi and JA double clotheslining Cruise.)

BB: It’s a melee between the four champions! JA wants a high-five but Kin savat kicks him in the gut! K-9 off the middle ropes with a dropkick and Hiroshi flies into Troy Windham!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham going over the top rope!)

(CUTTO: Closeup of Troy holding on by one hand!)

SB: NO! NO hang on Troy! This would be a greater blow than Doomsday killing off the Man Of Steel! The world can’t handle losing another legend!

BB: Sammy you realize…

(CUTTO: JA rushes toward the fallen Windham looking to make the big score. As he gets close to Windham, Cameron Cruise reaches out and grabs JA by the neck, stopping the former Greensboro Champion inches from Troy’s lifeline – his hand holding the top rope.)

SB: Realize what? (whispers) Shut up Buckley, I’m trying to get a deal with another company. Lord knows this one’s tanking.

BB: Cruise NECKBREAKER! JA shoots back up, amazingly still on his feet!

(CUTTO: Windham looks back eyeing the action, skins the cat, up and over the top rope, his legs clinching JA’s head.)

BB: WINDHAM HURRICANRANA! AND JA IS ELIMINATED!

(CUTTO: JA flying over the top rope and hitting the floor, back first. Still lying on the mats outside, he looks up, then shakes his head in disgust.)

BB: Troy FLIPS himself back in the ring! And (BOO!) he’s patting himself on the back!

SB: Well deserved, if I could pat it from here I would, Buckley. The man is a genius and frankly can extend a dollar further than anyone else I know.

BB: Troy TURNS… DOUBLE DROPKICK by K-9 and Hiroshi! WINDHAM OVER THE TOP ROPE!

(CUTTO: Eli Flair and Eron trading blows in the middle of the ring.)

(CUTTO: Troy Windham desperately reaching for the top rope with his right hand but coming up empty!)

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen, JA has been eliminated from this match!

BB: WINDHAM IS GONE, I DON’T BELIEVE IT!

SB: And you shouldn’t! Jimmy V was right DON’T GIVE UP, DON’T EVER GIVE UP!

BB: We’re going to have a NEW WORLD UNIFIED CHAMPION!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham standing on the middle of JA’s chest.)

BB: What in the world!

SB: Eat my shorts Buckley! Windham found a way! He’s greater than Jurassic Park!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham leaping off of JA’s chest and onto the apron, holding onto the bottom rope.)

BB: Cruise sends Eron into the ropes! Eron slides until Cruise’s legs, roundhouse kick!

(CUTTO: Close-up of one of Cameron’s back molars shooting out of his mouth and into the hands of some lucky fan!)

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen…

SB: Don’t you do it Rhubarb! Windham never touched the floor! I want an official ruling!

BB: This isn’t effing Jeopardy Benson! We’re not trying to get the a correct pronunciation of a Latin word! Troy Windham is out of GOLD RUSH, END OF STORY! Flair throws K-9 into the corner….

BB: Flair charges with a high knee, K-9 MOVES!

SB: Yes!!!

BB: Wha? TROY WINDHAM charges after Flair HANDSRPING ELBOW! And he connects right in the chops! Flair is bloodied!

(CUTTO: Some dope in the third row showing off Cameron’s tooth to his friends. E-Bay beware.)

BB: Troy Windham pounding away on Flair! Right and lefts! Eli, the giant, the former World Champion…

SB: The man with the 8th grade education….

BB: Stop! Flair is rocked! Troy calls K-9 over….Watson obliges and charges at Eli. TROY STOPS HIM COLD! Windham with a SPEAR! He suckered Watson in! But what’s he doing here? Troy Windham is out of this match!

SB: NO! We have the official ruling Buckley! Well two actually. One, your wife IS in fact a whore and second WATCH this video!

(CUTTO: Hornet at the lobby of his luxurious “Hornet’s Greensboro Gym”, dressed to the nines.)

HORNET: Hi, I’m Hornet. Are you concerned about your weight? Are you concerned about your children’s physical well-being, or maybe that your wife only seems to be eating more and shrinking less. Well don’t be. Here at….

(CUTTO: LIVE! Action.)

BB: What the?

(CUTTO: Hiroshi slapping the FIGURE FOUR on Cruise.)

SB: Damn Hornet’s contract. His commercials are always on ready at the go. No, watch this one! Hit it, Marvin!

(CUTTO: REPLAY! Troy Windham being sent over the ropes, his hand reaching but slipping over the top rope. The look of regret on his face, then….landing on JA’s chest.)

(CUTTO: JA’s ‘WTF’ expression.)

(CUTTO: Troy looking around, at himself, his surroundings, and realizing he hasn’t touched the floor.)

(CUTTO: JA raising his hand up, his hands reaching for Windham’s legs.)

(CUTTO: Troy pushing JA’s head back down with his left leg, then shoving off and diving onto the apron.)

(CUTTO: Back to LIVE Action.)

BB: I stand corrected. This place is nuts. We’ve still got six men inside the ring and all are legally still part of this contest. No matter how much I can’t believe it.
SB: THAT WAS PROOF, BUCKLEY! INCONTROVERTIBLE PROOF!

BB: Calm down, Sammy. Like I said, this place is nuts. And since when did you know the word ‘incontrovertible.’

(CUTTO: Eron slamming Troy to the mat then dropping a BIG elbow.)

SB: This place defies reason Buckley. We’re standing on top of an ancient Indian burial ground, it’s the only explanation.

BB: Don’t wonder Randalls is so pissed.

SB: That or the remains of Chad Merritt’s brother are still here from his tragic fireworks accident during the CSWA first card on this site way back in 1988.

BB: Back to the action, and it’s Cruise reaching for the ropes, trying to break the figure four, but he can’t get there! Plus, I think instinct may have kicked in – there’s no ref inside to force Hiroshi to break the hold. Either way, K-9 helps Kin out and pulls Cruise to the center of the ring to keep him from getting any leverage.

SB: The more allies you find now the better your chances of sticking around later.

BB: Eron is working over the UNIFIED Champ in a corner. Troy gasping for air. He’s been dodging bullets all night. How many more lives does he have left, Sammy?

(CUTTO: Eli Flair leg-dropping Hiroshi in the face. Cruise released from the hold, screams in pain.)

SB: He’s David Copperfield without the need to rape women, Buckley.

BB: Nice Benson, nice. Windham thrown into the opposite corner, he GOES HEAD FIRST UP AND OVER THE TURNBUCKLE! But he’s on his feet on the apron like a legend of old! Cruise springs up and takes a wild chance at a dropkick but misses Troy! WINDHAM UP AND ON THE TOP ROPE!

SB: LOW RISK WINDHAM! LOW RISK! I can’t look…

BB: Hiroshi bounces off the middle ropes then onto the adjacent top rope next to Windham! (MARK!) KIN with a marvelous move! He slips a little though! I think Hiroshi was trying to kick Windham off the top rope, but he couldn’t quite stick the landing! Both men fighting delicately on the top rope!

SB: This can’t be good.

BB: Just minutes ago the UNIFIED and US Champions were working together. Now they’re fighting on the top rope like a scene out of “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.)

SB: Great out-of-date movie reference, Buckley.

(CUTTO: Eli quickly getting to all fours and motioning at Eron to jump on him and take them out.)

(CUTTO: Eron nodding and then kicking Flair in the gut hard.)

(CUTTO: Eron laughing as K-9 sucker punches him in the gut. Eron doubles over.)

(CUTTO: Cameron Cruise running, and jumping on the back of Eron and LEAPING for Windham and Hiroshi.)

BB: Cruise IN THE AIR LIKE A MISSILE! DOUBLE HIP TOSS OUT OF THE RING! (MARK!) Windham and Hiroshi see it and react in a time, hip-tossing Cruise out of the ring! High-five between the two! Good Lord, Cameron Cruise went so far that he almost landed in the crowd!

(CUTTO: Troy Windham leaping back in the ring, back first, but while doing so dropkicking Kin off the top rope!)

(CROWD MARKS!)

BB: OHMY!

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen, Cameron Cruise AND Kin Hiroshi have been eliminated from this match!

BB: Windham with the move of the night so far! The match sense and instincts….

SB: That’s why he’s the UNIFIED World champion Buckley. The man is like Gretzky. He’s a step ahead, he sees the ice three, four moves ahead than the next guy.

BB: Whatever it is, he’s eliminated the United States and Presidential Champions in moments! Greensboro Champion Kevin “K-9” Watson buries a knee into Windham’s gut! Troy didn’t have the clairvoyance to respond to that attack in time! Watson backs Windham up against a corner. A HARD left jab! ANOTHER! The Boy Troy rocked! Sammy, he may be out on his feet! Here comes Eli! Flair with a big boot to the back of Watson’s neck! And K-9 collapses into Windham’s waiting arms!

SB: Quit hating on Troy’s court sense and realize you’re blessed for seeing true greatness! Windham is the only man who could quiet the gay factor in “High School Musical” and give it the street cred to rival “Grease!”

BB: Eli has Watson’s head with two hands and he’s smashing it into Troy’s chest! It’s like he’s playing with a kid brother out there! (CUTTO: Eron dropping behind Eli and uppercutting his groin.) Flair is staggered!

SB: Who wouldn’t be? Occupational hazard. I’ve seen retired wrestlers wear cups to play with their grandchildren. I’ve seen former World Champions dropped to their knees by a strong winter breeze…

BB: Okay! That’s enough. Eron has Flair and Watson by the hair… (CUTTO: Eron slamming Flair and Watson’s heads together) A meeting of the minds!

SB: Finally Mensa travels to Greensboro. Could’ve saved this company a long time ago.

BB: Troy kicks Eron in the stomach! Windham smashes K-9 and Eli’s skulls! Then headbutts Eron for good measure! Troy hops to the middle rope in a flash, DOUBLE BULLDOG! (CUTTO: Windham strutting to his feet after Eron and Eli are driven into the mat.) Troy grabs Flair’s legs, he’s going for the Scorpion Deathlock! (The crowd is UP!)

SB: First that damn Hornet commercial now this. I think that son of a bitch gets royalties when toilets are flushed around here. Yes I said BITCH... it’s a damn pay-per-view!

BB: Troy sits back! He’s got the Scorpion hooked in perfectly! NO!!! Kevin Watson with a boot to the back of Windham’s head! Eli’s best friend there!
(CUTTO: Watson attempting to toss Windham over the top ropes)

BB: Windham up and ---- no! Troy hung on and spun himself back in ring! And he drops K-9 with a wild right hand!

SB: If Troy goes on to retain, this match will always be remembered for two things!

BB: Eron with a camel clutch on Flair! Taking advantage as the big man was off his feet and on the mat! Two things Sammy? I dare ask….

(CUTTO: Troy slingshot suplexing K-9!)

SB: JA’s chest and the last time you and I worked together.

BB: Flair to his feet fighting the Camel Clutch! You know, at the end of this great man’s career he’d love to win GOLD RUSH and in the process be the one to eliminate Troy Windham! But first he has to get up and regain the upper hand --- Eli to his knees!

SB: Usually it’s Ivy’s name you hear at the front of that sentence.

BB: At one point in CSWA continuity Ivy was your boss Benson!

(CUTTO: WINDHAM SLACKKNIFING K-9!)

SB: This isn’t Marvel you idiot. There’s not a CSWA on Earth-2. Ivy’s not on another network, crippled as the Oracle. Geez…

BB: Flair on his feet and Eron on his shoulders!

SB: The POOLJAM days just never leave you. CHICKEN FIGHT!

BB: Windham climbs to the top turnbuckle! He’s caught Eli’s attention! Flair drops off his feet and Eron goes down hard! Windham perched like a falcon ready to soar! (CUTTO: Troy flying off with an elbow drop!) (MARK!) Yes! Windham and Eli working together!

SB: Dogs and cats, Buckley. Yes, paint an obvious picture please.

BB: I think even both men enjoyed that unexpected turn in their history. Boy watching that just ---

(CUTTO: Flair picking up and TOMBSTONING Watson into the mat.)

SB: Makes you want to adopt an African child and/or an at-risk puppy?

BB: Yes! Troy has Eron between his knees, lifts him up, POWERBOMB! Flair and Windham cleaning house! Sammy, I think both men want the end to be a part of their own final chapter! And wouldn’t that be great! To see Flair and Windham, one-on-one, ONE MORE TIME!

(CUTTO: Troy pointing at a fallen K-9 as he grabs Eron by the collar and motions he’s about to throw the kid out of the ring.)

BB: Flair nods! Sammy here we go!

(CUTTO: As Flair’s back turns, Windham drops Eron and runs at Flair!)

SB: DOUBLE CROSS! DOUBLE CROSS!

BB: Eli turns in time! HE KNOWS BETTER!

(CUTTO: Flair dropping down as a charging Windham almost reaches him, and back-body-dropping Windham OUT OF THE RING!)

(CUTTO: Troy Windham flying over the top rope with a “Great Scott” look on his face that Burt Ward would appreciate.)

BB: Windham ----

SB: What the!

(CUTTO: A cameraman drops his rig as Troy comes flying and crossbodys him! The cameraman falls back, dumping the UNIFIED Champion…

(CUTTO: Right onto Buckley and Benson’s table!)

SB: TROY? Troy! He’s still alive Buckley! The Great One! The EPITOME! Buckley! He’s not out!

(CUTTO: A dazed Troy Windham looking up at Benson and Buckley, unsure if he’s alive or dead.)

BB: This is unreal.

SB: No, BELIEVE IT, Buckley! Troy, are you okay? Buckley, where’s your wife, we need an ox to cart the body back in the ring, floor untouched.

BB: (CENSOR) you.

(CUTTO: Eli Flair standing at the ropes, drops his head in amusement. Only Windham. It’s moments like this he’ll miss.)

BB: I’m tired of it Benson! The jokes! The (CENSOR) jokes. She’s a good woman! This is for you!

(CUTTO: Buckley laying two hands and starting to push Windham off the table.)

SB: HE’S A MADMAN! STOP IT BUCKLEY!

(CUTTO: Sammy fighting with Buckley, trying to pull Windham back! Troy holding on furiously, cursing Buckley’s name.)

(CUTTO: Eron charging at an unsuspecting Eli!)

(CUTTO: Eron clipping Flair with a knee to his high back sending Flair up and OVER the top ropes. Flair lands on his knees on the middle of the floor.)

BB: Wha? Ugh, Flair…no! Flair has been eliminated! Eron like a coward taking out Flair with his back turned!

(CUTTO: Windham swatting at Buckley as he slowly gets to his knees on the table.)

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen, ELI FLAIR (BOO!) has been eliminated from this match!

BB: Flair in what is scheduled to be his final CSWA (SB: Hell it could be ours….) appearance, giving Eron a piece of his mind!

SB: And I’m sure Eron is smart enough not to let Eli leave without the other half of it.

(CUTTO: K-9 bouncing off the distant ropes, running at Eron!)

BB: K-9 in the air! ERON back body drop!! (CUTTO: Watson flying in the air right at..)

SB: Buckley!!!

(CUTTO: Windham leaping off the table and onto the ringside stairs just before K-9 CRASHES THROUGH Buckley and Benson’s table!)

BB: OHHHH! Sammy are you?

(CUTTO: Benson running from the scene, headset off…)

BB: Am I still on? Marvin?

(CUTTO: Windham leaping from the ringsteps to the apron then quickly to the top rope as Eron clutches his back in pain.)

BB: Troy leaps in the air!

(CUTTO: Eron stands, then has his head caught between Windham’s legs.)

BB: WINDHAM HURRICAN-RANNA! AND ERON------

(CUTTO: Eron up and over the top rope and hitting the floor!)

(CUTTO: Troy Windham holding on to the top rope with two hands, his chest caving in and out as he takes giant breaths.)

BB: ERON IS OUT!!!

SB: HE’S DONE IT! THE GREAT ONE HAS DONE IT!

(CUTTO: Windham flipping back in the ring!)

(SFX: DING! DING!)

RHUBARB JONES: Ladies and Gentlemen, ERON is eliminated. The winner of GOLD RUSH and STILL UNIFIED WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION…… TROY WINDHAM!

(MARK! The crowd can’t believe it.)

(MARK! The crowd is still gasping at the replays on CSWAvision.)

BB: As I live and breathe I cannot believe what I’ve seen! Troy Windham has won GOLD RUSH! Sammy, I’m….I’m….

SB: Speechless. And it took nearly twenty years.

(MUSIC UP: “Simply the Best” – Tina Turner.)