(SFX: The bell ringing repeatedly as Mike Randalls already stands in the ring. The crowd RISES to its feet in anticipation.)

BB: Folks, right now… right now we are in for a treat. Tsunami and Mike Randalls, in the ring, for the first time since their match nine years ago that STILL might be the most violent match we’ve EVER seen here in the CSWA!

SB: I’m STILL scarred from what we saw nine years ago!

BB: Well, I’m not sure what we’re going to see tonight. Earlier, WildStar promised that Tsunami would… expose… Randalls as a lie by defeating him in the ring. The word I’ve received is that WildStar has been pumping Tsunami up to defeat Randalls in a TECHNICAL match.

(CUT TO: The top of the arena. Pyro goes off and out walks TSUNAMI, in his bodysuit/mask, accompianied with WILDSTAR, in his singlet, wearing a “My Perrogative”-era Bobby Brown-style headset microphone, RIGHT in Tsunami’s ear.)

STAR: (pointing to Randalls) THAT’S THE MAN WHO STOLE YOUR GIMMICK! THAT’S THE MAN WHO STOLE YOUR LIFE! RIGHT THERE!

BB: Folks, tonight is a first also for us in the CSWA. WildStar, who is in Tsunami’s corner tonight, has agreed to wear a microphone so we can get a behind-the-scenes look at what he is seeing!

SB: Like he’s EVER had anything interesting to say! (Mocking) I’m Five Stars! I’m Five Stars!

BB: Troutman calls for the bell… and we’re underway! Randalls and ‘Nami circling each other… and Tsunami IMMEDIATELY begins with one of those swift kicks to Randalls’ midsection. And another! And a third, no! Randalls snaps Tsunami’s legs over with a dragonscrew leg takedown! Randalls has Tsunami by the ankle—and now he kicks away on Tsunami’s thigh!

SB: Going to be a LOT of this! This is like watching Kill Bill Volume Three!

BB: Tsunami on one leg, Randalls holding onto the ankle but Tsunami rolls forward—CRADLE! ONE! TWO! NO! Randalls REVERSES! ONE! TWO! THRNO! Tsunami with a backslide! ONE! TWO! NO! Randalls with a cradle-- NO! ONE! TWO! THRNO!

SB: They’re going to make this a tongue twister for you tonight, Buckley!

STAR: (pounding on the mat!) Come on, Tsunami! That’s the guy that took your life!

BB: Tsunami and Randalls staring at each other… Randalls bounces off the ropes and drops ‘Nami to the mat! Nami getting up but is met with a partial running kneelift from Randalls followed by another AND another! Randalls has Tsunami and whips him into the ropes—Randalls hoists ‘Nami and goes for a backbreakernooo! Tsunami spins around with a TEXTBOOK headscissors!

SB: Man, these guys are just FLYING around that ring!

BB: ‘Nami now CHOPS (crowd: WOOOOO!) in the chest and another! ‘Nami now kicks Randalls once and with another spin kick! He now takes The Wolf and whips him HARD into the opposite corner! Tsunami charges—cartwheel BACK HANDSPRING INTO AN ELBO-NOOO! RANDALLS CAUGHT TSUNAMI AROUND THE WAIST!

SB: He had that move WELL scouted!

BB: Randalls spins… GERMAN SUPLEX! He pops the hips and holds on as Tsunami is trying to elbow his way free… A SECOND GERMAN SUPLEX! AGAIN HE POPS THE HIPS! Tsunami is looking around as WildStar is motioning for him to use his elbow! Tsunami hits Randalls square with an elbow! And anoth—NO! RANDALLS HAS A FULL NELSON! HE BRIDGES BACK! TEXTBOOK DRAGONFLY SUPLEX! ONEEEE! TWOOOO! THREEENOOOOO!!!! Tsunami JUST rolled out of the way!

STAR: (towards the crowd) NOW HE’S STEALING MY MOVES!

BB: Randalls hops onto the second rope in one fluid motion… HE LEAPS OFF WITH A KNEE DROP RIGHT ONTO THE SMALL OF THE POSTERBOY’S BACK! He now spins back and chickenwing’s Tsunami and grapevines the legs…

SB: Human bodies ain’t supposed to bend that way, unless it’s me havin’ my way with Natalie Portman!

BB: SURFBOARD! Randalls using his legs for leverage, putting Tsunami into the air, holding onto his arms! Tsunami is SCREAMING in pain!

STAR: COUNT THE FALL! COUNT THE FALL!

BB: Troutman looks.. AND HE’S COUNTING RANDALLS DOWN! ONE! TWO! THRENO! Randalls didn’t realize but he was inadvertently pinning himself… BUT HE STILL HAS ON THE HOLD! HE BRIDGES BACK AGAIN! Troutman counts again… (STAR: HE’S PINNED! HE’S--) ONE! TWO! Randals bends Tsunami forward… and again bridges back! One! Two! (STAR: HE’S PINNED! HE’S--) Forward! Now Reverse! One! Two! Now Randalls just lets go of that hold!

SB: What, you called that the surfboard? More like a teetering board…

BB: Tsunami crawling on the mat but Randalls, like a wolf, is stalking him like prey. He drops boots on Nami’s back, Nami trying to use the ropes for support!

STAR: Get him off, Trout! God, you’re incompetent! NOT FIVE STARS!

BB: Randalls with one of those bull-(CROWD: WOOOOO)-et like chops! I think that last one just tore Nami’s bodysuit! And now another!

SB: I think THAT one tore through his flesh!

BB: Randalls now with a shoulder into ‘Nami’s gut… and now he HOISTS Tsunami up onto the top rope!

SB: That ain’t a place to put this guy. He can fly off of anything!

BB: Randalls clubs Tsunami with a Euro-style uppercut… and another! Randalls climbing the ropes but Tsunami elbows Randalls where he struck him before. Randalls falls down, but rolls back! Tsunami trying to balance himself but Randalls just leaps up to the middle rope and hooks The Posterboy…

SB: This ain’t gonna be pretty…

BB: Randalls on the top with Tsunami... OOHHHHHNOOO!!!! RANDALLS JUST GAVE TSUNAMI A GUTBUSTER FROM THE TOP ROPE! RANDALLS JUST TOSSED TSUNAMI ABOVE HIS HEAD AND DROPPED HIM STOMACH FIRST OVER HIS KNEE WHEN THEY LANDED! THAT MIGHT’VE BROKEN RIBS!

SB: It felt like it broke MY ribs!

BB: Tsunami is prone, holding his gut and Randalls stands over him… Randalls now SNEERS at WildStar—

RANDALLS: WHO’S A LIE NOW? WHO’S A MYTH NOW?

STAR: (BLEEP) OFF!

BB: Randalls smirks at Star and grabs Tsunami by his mask… AND HE JUST RIPPED TSUNAMI’S MASK! Now Randalls with a quick boot to those hurt ribs… POWERBOMB! HE JUST TOSSED TSUNAMI RIGHT ON HIS NECK!

SB: Man, that was so quick… looked like a car wreck!

BB: Randalls in one motion hooks Tsunami’s leg and spins him over… he bridges back… THE DEVASTATOR! HE JUST HOOKED THE DEVASTATOR!

SB: Another way bodies aren’t meant to bend… unless it involves me and that chick from Amelie…

BB: Tsunami screaming in pain! He might tap! Randalls has just been machine like in this match, and now he has on his hold. Troutman asking Tsunami if he wants to give and he’s screaming something in his native Japanese!

SB: The only Japanese I know is “Geisha Girl get spanking now!”

BB: Troutman asking ‘Nami and Randalls is REALLY wrenching it in now… AND LOOK!

STAR: FOOT ON THE ROPES! FOOT ON THE ROPES! BREAK THE HOLD!

BB: WildStar just SAVED his partner! WildStar just grabbed Tsunami’s leg and draped it on the rope! If he didn’t do that, Randalls would have tapped!

SB: Consummate tag team work from this duo! Who cares if it ain’t a tag match?

BB: Randalls now gets up and is YELLING at WildStar!

STAR: I’M GOING TO EXPOSE YOU RIGHT HERE, YOU FRAUD!

BB: Randalls is YELLING at WildStar and… OOOOHHHHHH! Tsunami just bounced up to his knees and hit Randalls with a judo strike right to his crotch!

SB: Do they teach that in those dojos over there?

BB: Tsunami sees his opportunity and quickly hops to his feet… AND HE JUST CRACKED RANDALLS IN THE NECK AND HEAD WITH A SAVATE STYLE KICK!

SB: Straight out of a Michael Dudikoff film! American Kickboxer 4!

BB: Tsunami now gesturing at the fallen Randalls, yelling at these fans!

STAR: Yeahhhh! Put him in a bodybaggggg!

BB: Tsunami hooks Randalls by the head and maybe is going for a suplex… Star is making a hand gesture… Tsunami picks up Randalls and OOOHMMYYY! HE JUST HIT RANDALLS WITH A SPINNING MICHINOKU DRIVER!

STAR: Yeah! That’s MY move! HA!

BB: Tsunami is soaking up the awe of these fans… AND NOW HE COVERS RANDALLS! ONE! TWO! NO! Tsunami now digs his forearm into Randalls’ chin and hooks the leg… ONE! TWO! NO! Tsunami is PUNCHING the mat in disbelief!

STAR: KEEP ON HIM! THAT’S THE MAN WHO TOOK EVERYTHING AWAY FROM YOU!

SB: Just look at Tsunami… he’s starting to get more and more aggressive.

BB: Tsunami with a measured judo kick to Randalls neck, and another. Tsunami now crouched down, stalking Randalls who is struggling to his feet… Tsunami now boots Randalls in the gut… Tsunami now runs the ropes and hopes on the middle rope… OH LORD!

CROWD: YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM!

BB: TSUNAMI JUST MOONSAULTED OVER RANDALLS AND DDT’D HIM ON HIS WAY DOWN! HE COVERS! ONNEEEE! TWOOOO!!!! THHRRENNNOO!!! I thought he had him right there!

SB: And so did Tsunami!

BB: Tsunami has Troutman by the collar and is SCREAMING in his face, kicking the mat.

STAR: STAY ON RANDALLS! THAT’S THE MAN WHO STOLE YOUR CAREER! STAY ON HIM!

BB: Tsunami still yelling at Troutman… Tsunami scoops Randalls up and slams him down. Now he bounces off the middle rope again—ASAI MOONSAULT! NO! RANDALLS GOT HIS KNEES UP! RIGHT INTO TSUNAMI’S ALREADY HURT RIBS!

SB: That was like a Valu-Jet plane trying to land in a Third World airport…

BB: Both men slow getting up now… Randalls with a (CROWD: WOOOO) knife-edged chop! And another! Forcing Tsunami into the corner… Randalls whips Tsunami across the ring, no Tsunami reverses and Randalls gets caught in the corner. Tsunami with a cartwheel to a back handspring—OHH! HE JUST SPUN AND DROPKICKED RANDALLS IN THE MIDSECTION! RANDALLS TUMBLES TO THE FLOOR!

STAR: (Standing over Randalls) YOU FRAUD!

BB: Tsunami with an excellent bit of commandeering the ring there! He knew Randalls was looking to block that move like he did earlier so he reversed course and went down low! And now Tsunami sucking up air… Randalls getting up to his feet…

SB: Look out, Buckley!

BB: TSUNAMI OFF THE FAR ROPES! ANOTHER CARTWHEEL BACKHANDSPRING COMBO! OHHHHMMYYY! TSUNAMI JUST COMPLETELY BACKFLIPPED OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO RANDALLS!

CROWD: YOU FLIPPED OUT! YOU FLIPPED OUT!

BB: That’s the Space Flying Tiger Drop! That’s one of Tsunami’s trademark, innovative aerial moves! He crashed onto Mike Randalls on the outside! Both men sprawled! I cannot believe the athleticism I am seeing here tonight!

SB: That was just like watching Michael Jordan flying from the free throw line… but flipping and then crashing onto someone!

STAR: KILL HIM NOW! THIS IS YOUR TIME! END THE LIE NOW!

BB: Tsunami now up, grabbing Randalls by the hair… he rolls him into the ring and climbs the ring apron… TSUNAMI SPRINGBOARDS ONTO THE TOP ROPE! SHOOTING STAR PRESS! OHHHHHHH!!!!

SB: He’s used that as his coup de grace before!

BB: Tsunami’s crouched, his ribs still sore… but now he covers Randalls! ONNNNEEE!!! TWWWOOOO!!!! THREEENNOOOOO!!!! Tsunami AGAIN covers Randalls! ONNNEEE!!! TWOOOO THRENOOOO!!! And now Tsunami AGAIN covers Randalls! ONNNEEE! TWOOOO! NO!

SB: Uh oh…

BB: Tsunami is BESIDE himself! Tsunami is pounding on the mat, kicking furiously, screaming…

SB: That is like the mother of all temper tantrums.

BB: Tsunami screaming, flailing on the mat… he’s shrieking and crying, holding his temple… he now rolls outside and just pushed Rudy Seitzer out of his chair and he just tosses it into the ring steps! Now he tosses them over! And now he’s punching himself in the face! He’s bloodied himself!

SB: What is going through this guy’s mind?

STAR: Yo… (Walking over to Tsunami) Hey… you alright?

BB: Tsunami is just pacing around the ring like an animal, gouging at a cut he opened on his forehead, shrieking… Tsunami has that chair and just SLAMS in on the ring barricade and it splits apart… Troutman leaning out of the ring…

SB: This guy has just snapped!

BB: Tsunami now has Troutman by the scalp! AND HE HAS THAT BROKEN SHARP METAL CHAIR LEG UP TO HIS NECK!

TSUNAMI: NO! DQ! ATTACK! DANGERMAN! ATTACK! NO! DQ!

BB: I think Tsunami is DEMANDING that this match get turned into a No DQ match! He’s threatening Troutman with that spoke, threatening to kill him! Troutman is shaking his head in agreement, completely out of fear!

STAR: (Shoves Tsunami) Yo—Nami, beat him in the ring! Do it in the ring!

TSUNAMI: (pointing at Randalls) ATTACK!!! MAN LIE THIEF JOB! SPACE FIRE DOG HUT! ATTACK! DANGERMAN! ATTACK! FRAUD STEAL ME!

BB: TSUNAMI IS NOW GOUGING THAT CHAIR LEG INTO MIKE RANDALLS HEAD! RANDALLS WAS LEANING OVER THE MIDDLE ROPE TRYING TO GET TO HIS FEET! AND NOW HE’S BUSTED OPEN!

SB: Man, it looks like that time I got Christina Aguilera drunk, took her home and did something during a certain time of the…

BB: You’re an idiot. Tsunami now pulls Randalls outside, raking that broken chair leg across his face! And now he rakes him across the back with it! Randalls is bleeding all over his face and body! Tsunami now taking the shrapnel-like a spike in his hand and just gouging at Randalls face! He’s on top of Randalls, just gouging him in the head with that spike!

SB: He’s just STABBING Randalls in the face with that thing!

STAR: …

BB: I think WildStar is going to be sick! He wanted his partner, his best friend to beat Randalls in the ring! He got in Tsunami’s ear and told him that Randalls stole his career and Tsunami has taken it to heart! He’s snapped!

SB: Even Troutman has no idea what to do!

BB: Folks, if this keeps up, we may have to go to black until things calm down. Tsunami now slams Randalls’ head onto the concrete, that spike still in his hand. He covers Randalls!

TSUNAMI: PIN ANYWHERE! ATTACK ALL ENEMY!!!

BB: Troutman looks around, completely in disbelief… HE’S COUNTING THIS PINFALL! ONNNNE!!!! TWOOOO!!!! NO! NO! NO! RANDALLS KICKED OUT! Randalls had some idea what was going on and kicked out!

SB: I guess Tsunami just forced this into a pinfalls count anywhere match!

BB: Tsunami now gets up and has that spike… and he’s tapping his knee! He’s going to ram that spike into Randalls’ knee!

SB: Who could forget when Randalls did that to Guns all those years ago?

BB: Tsunami has that spike and grabs Randalls by the boot--- RANDALLS KICKS TSUNAMI IN THE GUT! AND NOW HE JUST MONKEY FLIPS TSUNAMI OVER! HE JUST SENT TSUNAMI FLYING! ONTO THE CONCRETE ON HIS BUSTED RIBS!

SB: Man, look at that pool of blood… it looks like a battlefield. These guys are both going to be scarred.

BB: Randalls getting up… and he sees that spike! He’s got the spike in his hand! Tsunami is crawling backwards towards the locker room, squealing!

SB: Who wouldn’t? Mike Randalls with a weapon…

BB: Randalls has that spike, just staring at it… but he tosses it down! He wants no part of using weapons anymore! He has every right to use that because Tsunami has tried to kill him! But Randalls made a pact for his salvation!

SB: Man, forget that! His brains are falling out of his hairline, use the damn thing or else he could be finished.

BB: Tsunami leaps at Randalls… BUT RANDALLS JUST HIT A DESPERATION SUPERKICK RIGHT INTO TSUNAMI’S CHIN! TSUNAMI FLIES BACKWARDS THROUGH THE CURTAIN! RANDALLS LAID OUT ON THE OUTSIDE!

SB: Troutman should stop this thing now, while he still has a chance!

BB: That chance is over! Randalls gets up, he wants to end this once and for all! He now goes behind the curtain—get a camera back there!

(There’s some static but then a camera shows the locker room! Different jobber wrestlers and some of the “New Blood” hightail it out of there, screaming. The bigger name stars were smart enough to get out a few minutes earlier, knowing what was headed their way.)

BB: Randalls walks backstage but Tsunami has something… HE JUST THREW JOEY MELTON’S BOOT INTO RANDALLS’ CROTCH! Tsunami now grabs Randalls’ skull… OOOHHHNOOO! THAT’S ABSOLUTELY REVOLTINGGGG!

WILDSTAR: (Back near the entranceway.) Ohhh, Tsunami… come on! Stop this! This is too much!

BB: TSUNAMI IS SMEARING MIKE RANDALLS FOREHEAD ACROSS THE WALL! BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE! TSUNAMI TOSSES RANDALLS TO THE FLOOR… AND NOW HE IS RUBBING HIS MASKED FACE IN HIS BLOOD! HE IS RUBBING HIS OWN BLOODY FACE ONTO MIKE RANDALLS BLOOD!

SB: This is absolutely disgusting… man, I don’t want to watch this…

BB: Randalls trying to grab onto a bench to prop himself up… but Tsunami just flew onto his back! Now he turns Randalls, lies him on that bench… AND TSUNAMI JUST DID A SOMERSAULT THROUGH THE BENCH! BOTH MEN LAID OUT IN OUR LOCKER ROOM AREA!

STAR: End this now, someone’s going to get killed… Ring the bell, Troutman!

BB: Tsunami, his eyes in the back of his busted skull, falls onto Troutman, demanding he make the count! One! Two! ThrNO! Randalls got an arm up…

STAR: Ring the bell, Troutman… come on, man!

BB: Tsunami is SHRIEKING again, ripping into his own cut face… he’s tossing clothes and water bottles everywhere now…

SB: I think that’s his locker! That’s a picture of him and ‘Star right there…

BB: TSUNAMI HAS A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS! RANDALLS HAS NO IDEA! TSUNAMI STRADDLES RANDALLS AND SNAPS HANDCUFFS ONTO HIM!
STAR: STOP THIS TSUNAMI! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HIM! END THIS MATCH NOW! COME ON!

BB: Troutman has NO idea what to do and Tsunami is again looking into his locker… Randalls is struggling to his feet… he’s handcuffed and is stumbling around.

SB: OH DEAR GOD!

BB: TSUNAMI JUST PULLED OUT A BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT FROM HIS LOCKER! THIS MAN IS SICK! MARVIN, GET READY TO CUT THE VIDEO TO BLACK!

WILDSTAR: (shoving Tsunami) NO TSUNAMI! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL HIM!

BB: Tsunami is just shrieking…

TSUNAMI: RANDALLLLLSAAAANNNNNN!!!!! ATTACK!!!! LIE THEIF!!!!!

BB: WildStar shoves Tsunami down… NOOOOOO!!!

WILDSTAR: OHHOHHHHHGOOODDDDDNOOOOO!!!!!!!!

BB: TSUNAMI JUST HIT HIS BEST FRIEND IN THE STOMACH WITH THAT BARBED WIRE BAT! AND NOW HE’S RAKING IT ACROSS HIS BEST FRIENDS FACE! CUT THE FEED! CUT THE FEED!

(The video goes to black briefly as the audio commentary continues.)

WILDSTAR IS SCREAMING IN PAIN! TSUNAMI JUST KEEPS RAMMING THAT BAT ACROSS HIS BEST FRIENDS FACE! HE’S CUT BAD! HE’S CUT BAD! SOMEONE GET BACK THERE NOW!

STAR: OH GOD! OH GOD! WHERE’S LINDA! OH GOD!

SB: He’s not even wrestling in this match… he just wanted Tsunami to end this somewhat sensibly…

BB: Tsunami looking around for Randalls… Randalls just crawled through a back curtain and—OH MY GOD! LOOK!

(Video feed back on, the camera CUTS over the shoulders of the announcers to NEXT to a station next to CSWAVision, 10-12 feet high in the air, light equipment underneath. A bloodied Mike Randalls comes stumbling out, still handcuffed; looking like an alien his face is so red. He balances on a guardrail beneath him.)

SB: AND NOW LOOK!

(Tsunami, bloodied, also comes stumbling out, growling, barbed-wire bat in his hand.)

BB: HE’S TRYING TO KILL RANDALLS!

(Tsunami has the bat in both his hands and takes a step back to charge.)

BB: NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

(The crowd goes completely silent. Dead silent as what they see appears in slow-mo. Tsunami charges but Randalls drops down, propelling Tsunami over the railing, flying out of control, landing back-first in a sea of cables, television equipment and concrete, bat somehow falling across his chest.)

BB:…

SB:…

CROWD:… (the crowd is dead, then…) YOU KILLED HIM! YOU KILLED HIM!

BB: LOOK! NOOOO! THIS IS GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!

(Mike Randalls, still handcuffed, stands up… blood everywhere. He looks down and steps up to the railing and flips forward… landing chest first onto the barbed wire bat that is draped across Tsunami.)

CROWD: THEY’RE BOTH DEAD! THEY’RE BOTH DEAD!

BB: Medics! Medics! Get out here NOW!

(A whole crew of people flood out, including referee Ben Worthington. Randalls somehow lifts his head up and just stares at him. Worthington, completely freaked out of his mind, gets down.)

BB: RANDALLS WANTS WORTHINGTON TO COUNT! ONNNNEEE!!! TWOOOO!!! THREEE!!!! RANDALLS WANTED TO WIN THIS MATCH! AND HE JUST DID! BUT AT WHAT COST! BOTH MEN ARE OUT! BOTH MEN ARE HURT! GET THEM OUT OF HERE! GET THEM TO THE HOSPITAL!

(CUT TO: Medics getting backboards and a cop with a skeleton key fiddles with Randalls wrist, uncuffing him. The crowd is just going ape. Tsunami is on a backboard, moaning in pain. Randalls gets placed on a backboard but as he’s being rushed holds one hand up in the air in victory.)

CROWD: RAND ALLLS! RAND ALLLS!

BB: We’ll be back… I hope.

(Cut to commercial)