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Too late, the heroes

Match Interruptus


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Unmitigated Disaster

Match Interruptus

BB: Despite the technical difficulties with the lighting, these two athletes are putting on one of heck of show! We’ve seen both men take control and get near falls, only to have the other reach down deep and kick out before the three-count.

SB: It’s a wrestling match, Buckley, not Chariots of Fire.

BB: You’re showing your age again, Sammy.

SB: Not as much as that piece on your head.

BB: Both men are dog-tired as they get to their feet following that dropkick by Stevens. It’s going to be about who can reach down and find the will to win. They charge… double clothesline and they’re both back down! But Stevens kips up and is setting up for his second X-Factor of the night!

SB: Take his head off, Sean!!!

BB: Hornet to his feet, but then drops to his knees!!!! The X-Factor misses and Hornet swings Trip around! BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX! And now he cinches in a boston crab! Triple X is in HUGE trouble here, right in the middle of the ring!

(CSWAvision, previously showing the CSWA logo, goes black… then begins scrolling text as the match continues. The announcers completely ignore it in their commentary, while the production crew makes sure to keep the camera focused on the action in the ring. The crowd, however, begins to murmur.)

Merritt…. DELETED
Windham…. DELETED

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BB: Hornet’s face is locked in concentration as he pulls back on the legs of “Triple X” Sean Stevens. He continues to tell referee Patrick Young to “Ask him.” Young keeps asking Trip if he wants to submit, but he simply screams and shakes his head! He has his arm reached out toward the ropes, but he’s still well over a foot away from getting there and breaking this hold.

SB: Something’s gotta break, Buckley. And I’m not sure Hornet will even break the hold if Trip gets to the ropes.

BB: Why would you think that?

SB: You don’t think Hornet harbors some resentment, Buckley? Hornet was with Ivy… now Trip is. And she’s having his baby?

BB: I think we saw the two of them deal with that quite a while ago. If anything, this is business for Hornet….

SB: Nothing personal. Exactly, Buckley. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a branding iron hidden right under…


(Pyrotechnics go off around the stage and flames shoot out of the turnbuckle. The fans immediately turn to the stage, taking this as an entrance cue for a yet-to-be-named wrestler to interfere…)

(CUEUP: “Ride of the Valkyries”)

(…but nothing. Except more pyro! Smoke begins to thicken throughout the arena and the explosions drown out the voices of the announcers for a few moments.)

BB: ….. looks like Hornet has released the boston crab. I think he was expecting exactly what we were… for someone to make his way out of the back and make his presence known.

SB: GUNS, Buckley. They all thought it was the return of GUNS. I know you’re not allowed to say his name, but nobody’s put any restrictions on me.

BB: Either way, Triple X has pulled his way toward the corner… his legs are shot. I don’t know that he’ll be pulling off another X-Factor kick in this one. Hornet charges in, but Trip moves out of the way and Hornet slams into the turnbuckle. But Triple X can’t follow-up due to the effect of that boston crab on his lower back and legs!

SB: Guess he won’t be walking Ivy down the aisle anytime soon, huh?

BB: Hornet pulls Trip to his feet. BRAINBUSTER! Cover! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!! NO!! He kicks out!!! But Hornet’s not done… he pulls him back up and he’s going to send him for the ride into the corner! This crowd can smell a Hornet splash coming!

SB: Is that like a ….

(Flames shoot out of the turnbuckles again! Hornet somehow stops in mid-whip and sends Trip out of control into and through the ropes!)

BB: This is…. That could’ve been…

SB: That could’ve been charbroiled Triple X right there! I told you Hornet had something up his sleeve!

BB: Stop it, Sammy. We both know that’s not… Fans, Triple X hit hard outside the ring, but he’s trying to pull himself up and get back inside.


(The arena fire alarm has gone off. Red lights pop up around each exit as the incredibly loud siren goes off. Then as quickly as it started… it’s gone.)

BB: Fans, it looks like our night of technical mishaps continues. The arena’s fire alarm went off, but it looks like it was a false alarm. Sean Stevens has rolled back into the ring and he and Hornet are ready to lock up again. This one has been…


(And this time, it’s not just the siren. But the sprinklers. The crowd erupts in surprised screams and as they and the ring are doused. Hornet and Triple X look at each other, then at Patrick Young to find out what they should do next. The show must go on… they lock up in the middle of the ring in the middle of the deluge. In the middle of it all, CSWAvision imparts a final message.)



(The board goes black. Ring announcer Rhubarb Jones yells something up at the ring to referee Patrick Young. Young calls the match and Hornet and Trip back away, shaking their heads in disbelief. Bill Buckley and Sammy Benson have thrown their laptops and callsheets in their bags and dumped the headsets, having been told by the back that they’re off the air and the decades old “Technical Difficulties – Standby” message is up for millions to see on U-62.)