February 1, 2007

(The mood in CS Towers is just short of black. In the aftermath of the unmitigated disaster that was CSWA SHOWTIME in Columbia, the CSWA is in chaos. U-62 was very clearly not amused by the Hacker’s intrusion into the event – taking control of CSWAvision, setting off the sprinklers and the fire alarm in the middle of the match. The TV network had to cut to black, the absolute no-no in their business. The crowd had been cleared from the arena and had to be given refunds. And still, no real leads on who the Hacker is or how to stop him or her.

CSWA owner Stephen Thomas made a crucial decision in the aftermath of PRIMETIME, deciding to keep the company running, even without a television deal on the horizon. With its history of problems and production delays, the CSWA has the equivalent of a “quarantine” sign on it for everyone in the television industry. The majority of CSWA staffers involved with television production have been laid off, all but a skeleton crew who can help broadcast the shows on the internet. So far, he hasn’t had to lay off any wrestling talent… but that day is here. But Thomas believes the future of the company depends on two things: 1) finding the Hacker, and 2) just making it to Sweetwater, just getting through FISH FUND XIV without anything ridiculous happening.

Good luck with that. FISH FUND is known for bizarre and ridiculous happenings… the insane “Battle of the Bands” with Hortense and the LOVE Sisters, the takeover of the FISH FUND charity by a bizarre woman out for revenge, Bob Ryder doing a top rope splash on Joe Pedicino, midgets being maimed… and the ultimate -- the Arena’s boiler exploding and causing the facility to catch fire, leading to the apparent demise of Timmy Windham. But FISH FUND is also known for incredible spectacles… The IRONMAN of CHAMPIONS, the neverending Windham saga, the rise of Eddy Love as World Champion, the Hornet/GUNS “End of an Era” match…

It only takes that one moment. That one special moment… for the CSWA to become the CSWA again.

Thomas’ internal monologue stops as the door to his office closes. His wife, Hortense, formerly of FISH FUND staple “Hortense and the LOVE Sisters,” enters the room.)

HORTENSE: Shug? What are you doing? You’re not up here brooding again, are you? I tol’ you, it’s all gonna be alright.

THOMAS: I’m fine.

HORTENSE: You’ve had that long face ever since that lil’ Red Midget escaped during the fire alarm at PRIMETIME. Lyle ain’t gonna cause no more problems. He’s prolly halfway back to that island by now.

THOMAS: I said I’m fine.

HORTENSE: Well, I just don’t want you to worry none. Besides, Mama’s here. And Mama knows what her Shug needs.

(Hortense walks over to the desk and slides up on the corner… as best she can. She starts kneading Stephen’s closest shoulder as he sits staring out the window over downtown Greensboro.)

HORTENSE: And besides, Mama has her needs too. She knows the best medicine for this mood you’re in… to show you that everything is gonna be okay.

(She leans in and begins nuzzling his neck… looking not entirely unlike a baby hippo nuzzling at its mother for attention.)

THOMAS: (pulling away) I said I’m fine. And I’ve got a meeting with Hornet any minute.

HORTENSE: (standing up from the desk) You’ve got to snap out of this, Stephen. I’m your WIFE and you’ve been completely ignoring me, completely ignoring EVERYONE for the last three weeks. I know this is hard time for you because of what the company is going through, but you can’t just…

(The intercom buzzes.)

MARSHA the Secretary: Mr. Thomas? Hornet is here to see you.

THOMAS: Give me just a minute and then send him in. (to Hortense) You have to leave, now. Use the other entrance.

HORTENSE: I’m serious, Shug. You can’t keep treating people like this…

THOMAS: Do you not get it!? I’m trying to save a company here! I’m trying to keep food on people’s tables. I’m TRYING not to lose everything I’ve worked for twenty years for! So I can’t help it if you feel IGNORED for a few weeks. But for right now, you need to leave… so I can see if it’s time to nail the doors shut around this place.

(Hortense looks at him for a moment, stunned. She turns away and leaves through the service entrance. Moments later, HORNET enters through the mahogany doors. Thomas stands.)

HORNET: Stephen.

THOMAS: Paul, thanks for coming. I’ll make this short and sweet, where are you on what we talked about in Columbia?

HORNET: You and I both know it isn’t about the money for me. But I’m sure you can also understand that I’m somewhat hesitant given my history with the front office.

THOMAS: I know, I know. And I don’t blame you. But we both know that if you and I don’t come to some sort of deal, there’s just no way this company can keep running. Your contract is just too much for us to cover and keep the rest of the talent as well.

HORNET: But whose fault is that, Stephen?

THOMAS: I’m not blaming you, obviously. It’s this damn Hacker. Between the loss of the Columbia gate, the ridiculous cost of the Cruise Liner hijacking and now the loss of the U-62 contract…

HORNET: It comes down to this. If I’m going to allow you to basically void my contract, then I need some assurances that you actually have a plan to pull this off. It can’t just be another Thomas scheme…

THOMAS: This is all above board. We just have to get to FISH FUND. The gate alone there will help. But more importantly, I believe it will get us another TV contract. No one wants to talk right now, but if we can show that the phenomenon is back on track, I believe we can secure either NCN or another cable network easily. Our programming costs are cheap compared to what they spend on scripted shows.

HORNET: And what about the Hacker?

THOMAS: He’s not going to be able to resist showing up at FISH FUND. And so we’re going to set a trap. We’ll load the Arena and even the entire FISH FUND Park with security. Ivy has also suggested hiring some “good” hackers of our own. If he tries to get in the system, we’ll have him.

HORNET: You know I want this guy…or whatever… found as much as you do, Stephen. It’s got to be either someone we know or some sort of deranged stalker-fan… I mean, locking me in a room with Ivy and Teri? Locking you in a suite with Hortense and then forcing you to… no offense.

THOMAS: None taken. I know. Either way, it’s important that we keep going. You’ve been around from the first day, Paul. You and I both remember when you chose the name “Hornet” about two hundred feet below where we’re standing right now. It can’t end like this, can it?

HORNET: So the deal is, I allow you to buy out the rest of my contract for $1. I’ll work for free until FISH FUND, and then based on where we’re at, we’ll negotiate a new contract, with a guarantee that I have an option.

THOMAS: That’s it. And by doing it, you allow me to keep the talent contracts we have currently and keep the show going. And I’m forever in your debt.

HORNET: At least until you forget this conversation ever happened. (pauses) It’s a deal, Stephen. You better make it work.

THOMAS: (shakes Hornet’s hand) Thank you. And I think I’ve got a plan for a FISH FUND program you’ll like. (presses intercom) Marsha, tell Travel to finalize the arrangements. Then contact the talent and tell them we’re on track and a go for Birmingham.

And then Sweetwater…