Chapter View

What Has Gone Before

The Great Escape

Quo Vadis?

This Is A Plan?

A Disaster Beyond Your Imagination

A Contemplative Hostage

Rescue Attempt

It's A Wrestling Show, Right?

It’s No Live Sex Show – Thankfully

Dude, Where’s My Lifeboat?

Midget Fight!

Women and Children First – Midgets Last

A Contemplative Hostage

FADE IN.....

The edge of the boat on the PRIMETIME POOLJAM Tour, an isolated corner where somehow - Dan Ryan has slipped away from the craziness inside. Ryan leans over, staring into the water - contemplative.

Ryan: "With all of the events surrounding me, surrounding this cruise lately - the issue with the midget, Troy Windham snatching glory where there was none yet again, losing out on the Unified World Title one more time it really makes me think..."

Ryan looks to his left, lifeboats hanging in the air - then back to sea...

Ryan: "Hmm...I wonder how strong those ropes are. If worse comes to worse, I wonder if I could swim out of here. And on top of that, why oh why am I doomed to be stuck in the middle of this soap opera?"

"I feel like I'm on the Love Boat, with a hundred pounds of methamphetamines thrown in just for kicks."

"See, this is why I don't accept free tickets for air or sea travel. You never know when a disgruntled little midget and his hired band of thugs are gonna take over the ship-slash-plane and demand revenge for the misery you've caused them. And let's face it - everyone makes fun of midgets. I don't know why that is. I don't think anyone thinks it's okay to make fun of midgets, but we all do because basically....we don't fear them."

"But here you have an angry little guy with the resources to cause some havoc and there you have it. Midgets gone wild and a farce made out of the Unified World Title once again."

"If Troy Windham weren't there to mess up another potential match of the year between his brother and I, I would've thought he was slipping honestly. Seeing him slide into the ring and snatch the belt off of that hook made the world feel right somehow - despite being stuck on this God forsaken wreck and despite being contractually obligated to continue to be a part of it, not to mention ...oh yeah...not having a choice in the matter anyway."

"So you know, Troy....."

"It's only a matter of time. It's only a matter of time."

"Mark's time has passed - he's a brawler now, a good one - but little else. I respect your brother, Troy. But you? Nah, not so much. Tearful babyface speeches aside you're basically a big steaming pile of human crap. Talented, but worthless. Champion, but a loser in every way imaginable that matters."

"But that's fine - it's all moot really - if all goes to plan I'll be rowing away in a lifeboat by the time you see this. If not - I'll take that title - one way or another. That's something you aren't gonna be able to stop, Troy - whether you like it or not."

"It's only a matter of time."


Ryan fumbles through his pockets..."

"I know I had a pocket knife or something here somewhere."

Coming up empty, Ryan sighs.

"Dammit. Customs..."

Ryan pauses and stares at the rope...then moves his mouth as if thinking about chewing something...

"Maybe if I can just get it started...."